When I met you, my life was a mess. One giant mess. I know now that the problem was that I was an easy mark, someone that manipulative people could identify would easily give them what they wanted.
So I was never alone but surrounded by people who were demanding more and more of me. » Read more
“Why I’m Quitting This Group and What You Need to Change,” the subject line reads. It’s a post on the forums of an organization where I’m a member. I can see there are already 40 replies.
I probably shouldn’t smile, but I do. I already know before I click into the post what it’s going to say, » Read more
It was a simpler time, once upon a time.
I can still remember believing that most people were reasonable, open-minded. I can remember assuming that people cared about other people.
I didn’t realize back then that empathy wasn’t universal. That life had a way of hardening us to the pains of other people. » Read more
Today I learned that if you’re wearing a face mask and dark sunglasses no one can tell you’re crying.
Not that I ran into that many people when I was out. And not that I spent very much time with them at all when we did, everyone (rightly) keeping our distance as covid-19 ravages Texas. » Read more
“The previously unloved may find it hard to believe that they are now loved; that is such a miracle, they feel; such a miracle.”
-Alexander McCall Smith (The Good Husband of Zebra Drive)
There are moments even now, a decade into knowing you, that I expect to wake up alone. » Read more
My ex-husband really loved to relax. It was his Thing. The best day for him was one where he played either computer or video games all day long. And had lots of tasty snacks. Maybe order in some pizza. Or go out to eat for Chinese buffet.
That was his happy time, if he could sit and play games and relax. » Read more
“I’m sorry I slept so late,” he says, and I’m confused.
Because I had just heard him starting to stir, to get up out of bed, and my first thoughts had been Oh, I hope he got enough sleep.
I hope I haven’t disturbed him.
He works so hard during the week. » Read more
I am really good at falling in love. And when I do, I typically put people up on pedestals. In fact, it was only a few years ago that I stopped doing that. And it took being on the other side of things, dating someone who had me up on a really high pedestal.
So high that when I showed up as just little old me and not a goddess that shattered her wildest expectations… » Read more
Last night I left my apartment building for only the second time since the pandemic hit in mid March (three months from when I’m writing this essay).
I didn’t leave my car either time, which is almost like an extension of home. It does help to impose a bit of distance between you and others, » Read more
“Are you sure about that?” my partner says. “Because I think you’re biased here.”
“Well,” I say in response, my voice dripping with equal parts defensiveness and smugness, “I may be biased. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“You know,” my partner says, “that reminds me of something a relationship writer once wrote.” » Read more