12 More Reasons Why People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone But Never Do

a photograph of a red pen on a notebook that has a bunch of broken hearts drawn on it in red ink
Image by fractured-fairytales / CC BY

I recently published an article called “Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?

In that essay, I talked about some reasons I’d heard from others or seen in action that could be potential answers to that question:

    • A fear of change
    • A fear of being single and/or having to date again (i.e.,
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It’s Far Too Easy to Confuse One Type of Friendship With Another

Two rocks that have sunglasses, hands, and feet drawn on them to make them into stick people. They are holding hands.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

In a recent post, I talked about how confusing the conversations we have around love can be. As I wrote then, part of this confusion is because what we call “love” and what another person calls “love” may very well not be the same thing. And it certainly doesn’t help that one person can talk about many different kinds of love,  » Read more

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Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?

a snail on concrete
Image by fdecomite / CC BY

Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.

The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it.  » Read more

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In Some Relationships, So Much Energy Gets Wasted on Debating About Who Is Right or Wrong Instead of Learning to Manage Differences 

a black cat sitting on a stepstool
Image by Laura LaRose / CC BY

When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.

Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″  » Read more

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It’s Important to Remember That Reassurance Is a Form of Persuasion

two toys; they are both red and look person-like but with big blocky heads. One has the letter J on its head in yellow and one has G on its head. G is comforting J who seems a little down.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.

The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.

But I climbed in beside her,  » Read more

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Myers-Briggs & Love Languages Aren’t Scientifically Valid, But That Doesn’t Make Them Useless.

A Magic 8-Ball toy whose display reads "As I see it yes"
Image by greeblie / CC BY

In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.

The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion.  » Read more

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The Paternalization of Marriage: “You Need to Make Your Husband Do X,” “Get Your Wife to Do Y”

a wedding cake topper of a bride dragging a groom away by the leg
Image by nola.agent / CC BY

Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of people who will judge you based on what your partner does — or doesn’t do.

I noticed this when I first got married.  I’d fallen in love with my husband for a number of reasons. An unflappable sense of confidence, a warm sense of humor, a kind of charm that’s difficult for me even now to explain.  » Read more

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