“God, stop trapping me!” he says. It’s very loud. He’s raising his voice.
I’m starting to feel very small. Very scared.
“Trapping you?” I say. “I just asked you a question.”
“A trick question,” he says.
I’m honestly confused, have no idea what he’s talking about. » Read more
I’ve been in a lot of relationships at this point. Some of them were marked by good conflict resolution and others… well, they really, really weren’t.
I’ve often said to friends that a good apology means the world to me. That for me it’s often less about there never being conflict in the first place and more about being with someone who apologizes well when things go off-track. » Read more
My first close friendships were blisteringly intense.
I had one childhood friend, Emma, whose parents were both zoologists. Emma’s family let me come along with them on their family vacations. I can remember vividly, even now, lying with Emma under the covers at night in an old farmhouse as the wind made noise in the rafters, » Read more
I moved to Dallas about five months ago. Prior to that, I’d always lived in cold places. I spent my childhood and my early adulthood in Central Maine, where snow fell six months out of the year, and while it did warm up a bit during the summer months, it never really got hot-hot.
And it certainly didn’t last. » Read more
There’s an easy way to know when it’s time for my partner to cut his hair.
I start telling him how nice it looks.
There’s a certain length it gets to where his hair starts looking unnaturally attractive to me. Where he begins to sprout subtle curls. Contours that remind me of certain anime characters. » Read more
I’ve been having a fun time writing these essays about being a recovering people pleaser. Here are the first two I wrote.
11/25/2019 – Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher
11/29/2019 – I Didn’t Want to Change
In these articles, I’ve been talking about odd quirks that come with my history of people pleasing. » Read more
I’ve been coming out of my shell again lately.
I moved from Cleveland to Dallas five months ago, after spending a stressful few months fixing up and selling our old house.
It was a lot of upheaval. And it happened all in a blitz, too fast for me to have any hope of processing it. » Read more
I’m amazed that this is still happening to me. That I’m still getting this opening line that I’ve heard so many times:
Hey you, want to get to know each other better?
The stranger offers up chat info.
“How would you possibly get to know me any better?” » Read more
You’re the most beautiful when you don’t know anyone’s looking at you. When you’re engrossed in a book. Laughing at a joke online. Reading a kind message that someone sent you.
You don’t think you’re beautiful, and that’s okay. That’s part of what’s beautiful about you. You completely lack vanity, lack awareness of your strengths. » Read more
I wrote a piece recently called “I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty.”
In it, I talk about how sometimes there’s this expectation from people that being a good friend means always taking their side. That being loyal means being a “yes man,” no matter the context.
And how I’m just not down for that. » Read more