I recently published an article called “Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?”
In that essay, I talked about some reasons I’d heard from others or seen in action that could be potential answers to that question:
- A fear of change
- A fear of being single and/or having to date again (i.e.,
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We’re about to go to bed when Justin remembers. “Oh crap, I forgot to give Bela his medicine.”
Bela’s one of our cats, a 17-year-old former stray that originally befriended Justin on the steps of his frat house. Bela was just barely out of his kitten phase then. But for a young cat, » Read more
In a recent post, I talked about how confusing the conversations we have around love can be. As I wrote then, part of this confusion is because what we call “love” and what another person calls “love” may very well not be the same thing. And it certainly doesn’t help that one person can talk about many different kinds of love, » Read more
Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.
The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it. » Read more
When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.
Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″ » Read more
I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.
The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.
But I climbed in beside her, » Read more
I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.
The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion. » Read more
“I have this one friend who’s always getting on me for having an open marriage,” she says.
“Been there,” I say.
“Really?” she says. “What happened?”
“With just that one friend or the others?”
“There was more than one?” she asks.
“Of course. » Read more
Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of people who will judge you based on what your partner does — or doesn’t do.
I noticed this when I first got married. I’d fallen in love with my husband for a number of reasons. An unflappable sense of confidence, a warm sense of humor, a kind of charm that’s difficult for me even now to explain. » Read more