There’s a meme I made a while back that I post from time to time. The lead-in caption reads, “When you’re making up with someone and they take responsibility for their part in the argument and you also take responsibility for yours.”
Beneath this lead-in is a photograph of actress Tatyana Ali in her role of Ashley Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. » Read more
I tend to be a very intentional person. A planner. It’s probably why I became a psychological researcher in the first place. When I discovered there was a discipline already in place that tests our intuitions about each other and how the interpersonal world operates… well, it was frankly a huge relief.
I do a weekend series on this blog called “ » Read more
I know she hurt you, but I’m not her.
I never will be. Never have been.
It’s tough sometimes, how you confuse us. How you assume that when I’m quiet and sad that it’s because I’m passive-aggressively seething. That I’m going to trick you or trap you.
I know that’s what she did. » Read more
I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days. When I first started to worry, I thought maybe it would be a passing thought. A lot of things are. Most things are no big deal, and with time a concern seems silly.
But this one worry has persisted. And I’ve spent most of the day preceding thinking about it. » Read more
I can still remember what my ex-husband said when we’d been dating each for a few months.
“I’m sad that the chase is over.”
I laughed at the time when he said it. Which he wasn’t fond of, because he was being serious (and he often interpreted laughter as hostile).
He went on to explain that his favorite parts of his past relationships had been in the courtship phase. » Read more
I’m sure most people have heard of it by now, but if you haven’t, the Love Languages by Gary Chapman is an extremely popular relationship framework that’s designed to help couples understand each other better. As a recent research study showed, lack of intimacy is a relationship killer. In a lot of relationships, » Read more
I read a book about a decade ago that changed a lot of how I view myself and others. It’s very popular, and I’ve been meaning to write about it for some time. It’s called The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, and it’s by researcher Elaine Aron. » Read more
It’s funny. People often have really strong opinions about what you’re supposed to do in social situations.
And for the most part, I find that there’s typically a lot of agreement here. But lately, I discovered an arena which is rather ambiguous.
You see, I had heard my whole life that if someone says something mean about your friend, » Read more
We don’t talk about it enough. But it’s hard to be single.
And not just because of the constant pressure from other people who are fond of finding subtle ways to tell you that life has no meaning without romantic love — although that pressure certainly can make being single stressful for those who would rather not have a relationship. » Read more
It’s different every time, that first moment someone new disappoints you. When you learn that they’re just as human as the next person. Justin and I had known each for a few years and had been dating six months before we had our first fight. And it didn’t take us this long to have a disagreement because I was holding back, » Read more