There are few things scarier than falling in love with someone who lacks an emotional immune system. An internal sense of “this is how I’d like to be treated.” Ways of identifying harmful behaviors. And the ability to ward off those who would mistreat them.
This state of vulnerability is bad enough in monogamy. » Read more
Have you ever considered, beloved other, how invisible we are to each other? We look at each other without seeing. We listen to each other and hear only a voice inside our self. The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people’s words. » Read more
You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can’t love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can’t hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.
“Ugh,” he says, frowning at his phone.
“What is it?” » Read more
Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. » Read more
It’s a familiar pattern. Something has been weighing on me. I’ve been holding it inside. And it’s grown too heavy. So finally I just break down and ask him.
“How can you be so relaxed? Why aren’t you scared? How are you able to trust me when I’ve broken your heart once before?” » Read more
“So how was your date?” I ask him.
“I had a good time,” he says. “Nothing kinky or sexy happened. No scenes. But I liked the show that we watched.”
“Well, that’s good,” I say.
“I’m trying not to take it as a bad sign. Just let things unfold. » Read more
“I’m sorry, but could you hang out just a sec?” I say to him. “I have to go cross-post today’s piece.”
“That’s right, it’s after noon,” he says. “What did you put out for an article today?”
“Oh, it’s a post on amatonormativity. Being single. The hidden cost of art,” » Read more
“If you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. » Read more
“I have to go soon,” I tell Ro, glancing at the clock on her microwave.
She nods. “I had a feeling. We talked away our time again.”
It’s a repeat problem we have. Dinner and drinks and conversation monopolize our dates. Before we know it, I have to drive home. No time for sex. » Read more
When I look at beautiful things now, I don’t wonder at the talent that must have produced it. Instead, I think of the stress that it probably took.
What happened behind the scenes? How many nights were spent sleepless? Exactly how heavy was the weight of the artist’s head in their hand?
The most beautiful things in life often come with very hidden and very private costs. » Read more