It’s Important to Remember That Reassurance Is a Form of Persuasion

two toys; they are both red and look person-like but with big blocky heads. One has the letter J on its head in yellow and one has G on its head. G is comforting J who seems a little down.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.

The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.

But I climbed in beside her,  » Read more

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Myers-Briggs & Love Languages Aren’t Scientifically Valid, But That Doesn’t Make Them Useless.

A Magic 8-Ball toy whose display reads "As I see it yes"
Image by greeblie / CC BY

In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.

The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion.  » Read more

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The Paternalization of Marriage: “You Need to Make Your Husband Do X,” “Get Your Wife to Do Y”

a wedding cake topper of a bride dragging a groom away by the leg
Image by nola.agent / CC BY

Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of people who will judge you based on what your partner does — or doesn’t do.

I noticed this when I first got married.  I’d fallen in love with my husband for a number of reasons. An unflappable sense of confidence, a warm sense of humor, a kind of charm that’s difficult for me even now to explain.  » Read more

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They Say Sex Is For Marriage But Married Couples Don’t Have Sex

An open book whose innermost pages are folded in to form a heart shape.
Image by Theo Crazzolara / CC BY

When I was younger, I was always envious of my friends with nerdy mothers. Mothers who took an interest in learning. Read for pleasure and edification.

When I’d come home from school, and my mother would ask me about my day, I’d tell her, but she’d quickly tune out. While I was geeking out about history or long division or whatever thing I was excited about (I loved school as a little kid),  » Read more

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In Your Relationship, Are You the One Releasing Crickets or the One Finding Them?

a cricket on a leaf
Image by Dustin Iskandar / CC BY

My husband Justin is the kind of person who doesn’t like it when you read things aloud to him. When given the choice, he nearly always prefers to read the words himself. Similarly, he’s not someone who often stands and reads things aloud.

So when he started roaring with laughter and insisted he had to read something to me,  » Read more

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