Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today: » Read more
Why Don’t I Communicate More?
My husband Justin is a race car driver. It’s not how he earns his living but something he does as a serious hobby.
Whenever I can, I travel to races with him. This is partly because I very much enjoy traveling around and exploring new places — and also because I like being supportive of him. » Read more
We don’t talk about how easy it is to trap someone.
And by that, I mean that we don’t talk about how easy it is to drive someone we love into a corner. Without even meaning to.
A double bind is when a person sends out two different messages, » Read more
I can remember the first time I ever heard the term “play partner.” I had just started seeing a new girlfriend, a doctor with a decidedly kinky streak.
She used it to refer to her husband’s best friend. She called this guy her play partner.
In a lot of ways, this kinky doctor was my entry point into BDSM. » Read more
A moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored, an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknown to you, » Read more
Have you ever met someone who is fantastic at first? There’s something fun and shiny about them.
Maybe they’re things that you’re missing in the rest of your life. That you don’t know anybody else who does well. Or can engage with you on that particular level.
Maybe these aspects are so shiny that you are quick to forgive many things that should have given you cause for concern. » Read more
“I’m not perfect by any means,” I told him. “But if I tell you I’m going to call you at a certain time, I’m going to do it. If we make plans to have dinner, you can expect me to show up. If something unforeseen happens, a traffic jam or a sudden illness, I’ll text you and let you know. » Read more
“You wouldn’t leave someone with cancer,” he said.
She blinked, not quite sure she was hearing what she was hearing. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You’re breaking up with me because I have depression,” he said. “That’s wrong. Not only is it wrong, it’s cruel. I never thought you were someone who would do something like that. » Read more
There’s been a theme lately as I’m listening to people’s troubles and giving out advice.
You can tell a lot about a situation by what their particular forgiveness orientation is, how their forgiveness is balanced between self and others.
In the most simple terms, a forgiveness balance can be expressed with the following equation: Forgiveness of self divided by forgiveness of others. » Read more
“I was just thinking about Love’s Baby Soft,” I said.
“Oh?” Justin replied.
I nodded. “It’s the way I smelled from 12 to 19. A cheap perfume that smelled like baby powder and something else. Flowers maybe.” I told him I’d been given it as a present one Christmas. Couldn’t remember who from. » Read more