There’s Something Magical About That Person Who Raises Your Standards

a burgundy stoneware cup of coffee on a saucer with a spoon next to it. In the foam of the latte is a heart
Image by EMILIE RHAUPP / CC BY

I’ve Been Drinking Coffee Since I Was Nine

I drink the best coffee now. Kona beans ground and brewed in a two-in-one machine. The results splashed with heavy cream. Even holding the cup is a familiar kind of comfort. The warmth radiating through my entire hand.

I’m married to someone who doesn’t even drink coffee,  » Read more

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10 Things That Happened When I Exclusively Dated a Man Who Wanted Sex Way Less Often Than I Did

a black and white photo of a lonely woman sitting on the ground waiting. She is wearing what appears to be a white top and a flower print skirt. Her hand is pressed to the side of her face.
Image by budibudz / CC BY

Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.

However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did.  » Read more

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I Don’t Regret Dating You. I’m Grateful for the Wound You Gave Me.

a drawing of a person with long red hair who is wearing a blue scarf, green coat, and pink boots. Behind them is a cloud that seems to be making a lot of wind.
Image by Annie Pilon / CC BY

Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.

He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings.  » Read more

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Why It’s Tempting to Fake Orgasms, But You Really Shouldn’t

a jar full of dozen of yardsticks, viewed from above
Image by Bill Smith / CC BY

“Let’s see how many orgasms I can give you,” he says. “My previous record is nine in one night. But I’d like to try and top that.”

I stiffen. He isn’t talking about me when he references his record. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s implied that I’m in sexual competition with some unknown mystery woman.  » Read more

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If It Isn’t an Official Relationship, Is It Automatically Friends with Benefits?

a bonfire
Image by jane Hewitt / CC BY

I still think fondly of Jay.

I met Jay at a student pagan gathering. When I’d called the office asking if atheists were welcome (how I identified at the time), I was assured that they were completely interfaith. Even practitioners of Abrahamic religions were encouraged to attend.

But I noted as soon as I arrived that I was surrounded by Wiccans.  » Read more

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