Kind of a miscellaneous gripe today, folks, but bear with me. I know they’re in vogue and tend to share well on social media (ah, so many writers are the mercy of the algorithm gods), but I generally don’t do a lot of ranty, complaining posts because… I don’t rant a lot in real life? » Read more
The hardest part of missing is you is that moment when I want to text you. That moment when I almost text you. But remember. And stop myself.
Because I know you won’t text me back. There’s no way for us to talk anymore.
I dream about you sometimes. And you talk to me then. » Read more
I’ve been engaged three times. Married twice. I’ve had one broken engagement. One divorce.
And I’ve never had a big traditional, expensive wedding. Nor have I wanted to.
In fact, both times I got married I was on Team Let’s Elope. The first time, elopement was a no-go. I was, however, » Read more
When I was 19 years old, I wound up in an abusive relationship. Kurt was 32 years old. He’d lived in multiple states. This really impressed me at the time. It was only later that I’d find out that he moved around because of legal trouble. And that he’d wound up living in Maine (where I grew up and where I met him) because Kurt had sought out his brother who had built a comfortable life for himself, » Read more
Once upon a time, I was that person stuck in a miserable relationship. I knew I was unhappy — and that my partner was unhappy, too. But I also knew that relationships were work. That it wasn’t always going to be easy.
So when things got hard in my first marriage, » Read more
There’s a lot of joking about “letting yourself go” when you get into a long-term relationship. A lot of times people are referring to superficial concerns. Like gaining a few extra pounds. Not taking the same care to dress attractively.
That sort of thing.
But there’s a bigger threat, I think, » Read more
Once upon a time, I thought that I would become secure if the right people just said the right words the right number of times. Like a magic spell, an incantation of love, all of the deficiencies within me — my wrongs — would be righted, if someone close to me only told me what I needed to hear. » Read more
“I feel like social media has primed us all to be worse friends,” she says.
“Huh,” I say.
“You don’t agree?” she says.
“Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean by that,” I say. “It sounds interesting.”
“I feel like everything’s been turned into a performance. » Read more
I’ve been in near-complete lockdown since mid March of 2020. This is because I work from home (and so does my partner).
My family of origin and in-laws both live hundreds of miles away cross-country, so there’s little pressure to do any in-person gatherings because the logistics are a bit daunting even in non-COVID times. » Read more
It’s hard to explain to people who aren’t in our relationship why it was worth working through the hard times. Why I never, not once, seriously entertained ending our relationship. Even though it wasn’t always easy.
Because it wasn’t. We had a rough spot. One that lasted a lot longer than I was used to rough spots lasting. » Read more