Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.
People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy. » Read more
That morning when you wake up and different music is playing, you’ll feel lighter than you have in years.
Things will make sense. You’ll feel like you belong. But not in a way that you disappear by fitting in. You won’t just blend in with the scenery.
No, you’ll be a major character in the scene. » Read more
One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that there are people out there who don’t treat other people like they’re people. Instead, they treat them like pets.
And not the way that a responsible pet owner would.
Instead, they’re more like those people who get a pet thinking it’ll be fun to have something cute live with them. » Read more
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t wait to be asleep. For a number of reasons, really.
I never got enough sleep of course. But even more than that, I longed for escape. From the stresses of my life, sure, and also from the blandness. The sameness. The isolation I often felt. » Read more
In my first marriage, I was always the one coming up with the ideas for where we were going for dinner. Which was curious because I didn’t really care.
But my ex-husband did. He was the kind of person that had a fairly broad range of things that he would eat in general, » Read more
Earlier this year, I spent a few months living apart from my domestic partner. We’d been apart many times before, as he’s always traveled quite a bit for work. A week here, a week there.
Occasionally a month. Like the time he went to South Africa, challenging because of the difference in time zones. » Read more
As I write this post, I’ve just taken my second dose of Sudafed for the day. I’m sucking on a mentholated cough drop.
I’m about to go down for a nap of indeterminate length.
Because apparently putting away the clean dishes and loading up the dishwasher with the few dirties kicking around in the sink was a Herculean feat. » Read more
There’s been a trend that’s been all the rage lately in self-help circles. One that advocates for cleaning house. Severing all your toxic social connections and being able to move forward unfettered, unencumbered.
Living your best life.
Do they bring you joy? Keep them. Do they cause you grief? Chuck them. » Read more
It’s not cool to admit this, but I have times when I worry you’ve ruined me for other people.
Even if I wanted to actively date, I’m not sure I could stomach it anymore.
A lot has changed in the past decade or two. People used to meet primarily through their existing social networks. » Read more
I went through a breakup a while back that went exactly as planned. Because we talked about how we’d like to break up at the very beginning. Ideally what we’d both want from the other should things end.
When we ran out of road, I knew exactly how he wanted me to tell him. » Read more