PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?

a covered wagon
Image by Mark Goebel / CC BY

PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?

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“And what do you think makes someone a bad fit for polyamory?” she asks me.

The question catches me off guard.  » Read more

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PQ 18.2 — Do I enjoy time to myself or without my partner? Do I have hobbies I enjoy alone or with others, and a social life that does not rely on my partner?

the shadowy form of a person sitting on a hill under a purplish night sky full of stars
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 18.2 — Do I enjoy time to myself or without my partner? Do I have hobbies I enjoy alone or with others, and a social life that does not rely on my partner?

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Having Time To Myself

In spite of the fact that I’m a polyamorous extrovert (labels that when combined scream “people person”),  » Read more

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PQ 18.1 — Two Different Components of Monogamy: Not Wanting Multiple Partners & Not Wanting to Share

a picture of someone's legs and feet as they lie on a wharf next to a harbor. The feet are wearing brown boots.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 18.1 — Why do I identify as monogamous? Is it because I only want one partner for myself, or because I want my partner to be only with me, or both?

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While sometimes we tend to treat monogamy like a unitary concept, it’s important to note that there are typically two separate desires driving a person’s preference to be monogamous:

  1. Not wanting to share a partner with other lovers.
  2.   » Read more

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PQ 17.6 — Where does my sense of security come from in my relationships? What am I willing to do to help my partners feel secure, and will those things come at a cost to any new relationships I may start?

A sunset scene where two small blonde-haired girls in pink dresses are standing before a lion. One girl is standing in front of the other (who is leaning on her back timidly) and reaching out as if she is about to pet the lion.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 17.6 — Where does my sense of security come from in my relationships? What am I willing to do to help my partners feel secure, and will those things come at a cost to any new relationships I may start?
*

“Remind me again: How many plans do you have in case I kick you out?”  » Read more

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PQ 17.5 — As I seek new relationships, what guarantees can I offer my new partners that I will make space for them, listen to their needs, and be able to change to accommodate these new relationships?

a brown leather suitcase decorated with an assortment of stickers
Image by Christine und Hagen Graf / CC BY

PQ 17.5 — As I seek new relationships, what guarantees can I offer my new partners that I will make space for them, listen to their needs, and be able to change to accommodate these new relationships?

*

Once upon a time, I was terrified of change. I’d been through enough of it in my life,  » Read more

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PQ 17.2 — What parts of my relationships are most important? How can I preserve those elements while knowing that my relationships will change over time?

it's a closeup of a section of an orbital diagram in white superimposed over a black starry background
Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

PQ 17.2 — What parts of my relationships are most important? How can I preserve those elements while knowing that my relationships will change over time?

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There’s a kind of rhythm to my life with Justin. We move in tandem. Pretty much effortlessly. We sleep in the same bed, eat most meals together.  » Read more

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PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine?

a blue fish with black stripes and a black raised back crest swimming around in a fish tank
Image by Thomas Giuretis / CC BY

PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine?

*

Assumptions are often hidden to us, and as such, they’re easier seen in hindsight, after we don’t have them anymore.  » Read more

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