PQ 25.7 — Who else is affected by my decision to be out or closeted? Do I understand the effect my decision will have on them?
Before I dive into today’s question, I just wanted to make a quick note that **drum roll** THIS IS THE FINAL ESSAY IN THIS SERIES!!!! » Read more
PQ 25.6 — If I am thinking of staying closeted, is it because I face genuine and serious risks, or am I concerned about being inconvenienced or losing status?
Fear is a funny thing. Often it’s very binary, when you feel fear. You get that worry, that pit in your stomach. » Read more
PQ 25.5 — What risks do I face — including personal, professional, or physical — in being public about my polyamorous relationships? Are these risks I can afford to take?
The decision whether to come out or not is a deeply personal one. In my own case, I’ve been out for many years, » Read more
PQ 25.4 — If I am thinking about staying closeted, how will I feel about concealing my important relationships from people who are close to me?
“You know,” I say to Seth. “I’ve been thinking I want to come out as polyamorous. On Facebook.”
Seth frowns. » Read more
PQ 25.3 — Who in my life is important for me to be able to talk to about my relationships? Whom do I think it’s important for my partners to meet?
“You know,” my mother says. “I really wish your brother would bring one of his girls home.”
“I guess he’s not at an emotional place where he wants to do that,” » Read more
PQ 25.2 — Do I feel like I have friends I can discuss relationship problems with who will not blame polyamory as the problem?
In my line of work, I get asked certain questions over and over again. This is understandable since while no two people are exactly alike, we do share a lot in common with each other (often more than we realize). » Read more
PQ 25.1 — Do I have access to a social support system is friendly to and knowledgeable about polyamory?
My discovery that polyamory could be a viable way for people to do relationships and my very first polyamorous relationship happened quite close together, for a very simple reason: The friend who introduced me to the idea when coming out to me as polyamorous also dated me very soon afterwards. » Read more
PQ 24.7 — Does this person help me be the best version of myself?
As I look around at the people who are in my life now, I can answer unequivocally yes every time. I’m surrounded by folks (a mixture of lovers and friends and some arguably in between) who bring out the best in me. » Read more
PQ 24.6 — Is there anything about this person I’m hoping will change?
As I wrote in another recent installment of this series, I grew up as essentially a social chameleon. A person who could get along with a wide variety of people. And blending in was an attitude that followed me into the way that I had romantic and sexual relationships, » Read more
PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?
As I look at today’s question, I think it’s one that perhaps people these days are more likely to ask of me. » Read more