PQ 21.4 — In what ways do I care for myself? How do I care for the people around me?
The way that I care for myself and the way that I care for others is similar. I’ve come to realize something very important: A big part of love for me is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. » Read more
PQ 21.3 — Are there things I absolutely require in a relationship, and do I communicate those things?
I wrote the very first post in this series (PQ 1.1 – Have I ever felt romantic love for more than one person at the same time?) nearly two years ago, » Read more
PQ 21.2 — When I am faced with conflict, how do I seek to act with courage?
Sometimes the courageous move is standing up and advocating for yourself. Defending the boundaries you’ve set. Fighting for your own rights.
And sometimes the braver move is taking a step back and gracefully bowing out. » Read more
PQ 21.1 — Do the choices I make take me closer to, or further from, the best version of me?
In my old office, I had a note taped to the wall on a scrap of ruled paper. It read “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,” scrawled in my uneven cursive (I got an N minus in penmanship as a kid). » Read more
PQ 20.3 — How do I feel about me or a partner having sex with someone who has a common STI such as HSV? What do I consider “safe sex” under such circumstances?
This is exactly the point at which most safer sex talks fall apart, especially if you’re talking to someone who hasn’t had these kinds of discussions before. » Read more
20.2 How do I feel about me or my partner having sex with someone whose STI status is unknown? What do I consider “safer sex” under such circumstances?
“I’m going to camp soon, and there are going to be people there I might want to play with. So I wanted to talk about what you’re comfortable with,” » Read more
PQ 20.1 — Do I know my current STI status and that of all my partners?
Yes! And I know the status of my metamours.
I also know which relationships use protection and which don’t. And a reasonable snapshot of what new sexual contact might come over the horizon. » Read more
PQ 19.7 — What happens if I or a partner of mine has an unexpected pregnancy?
I’ve Dated People With Children Before. I Would Again.
At one point in my polyamorous life, I had two pregnant girlfriends.
Well, sort of.
One I knew about since she was visibly and obviously pregnant. » Read more
PQ 19.6 — How do I feel about sex outside a romantic relationship?
There are times that I’m not sure what “romance” means. At least what it means to other people. Sure, I know the dictionary definition: “a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.”
Okay, but what kind of love? » Read more
PQ 19.5 — How do I feel about group sex and sexual exhibitionism?
I feel good about them! I think they are fun and valid forms of sexual expression so long as everyone involved consents to them. No pressuring someone to join an orgy. Or flashing people in the park. » Read more