I’ve written about it many times, but I’m very different from a lot of people who write prominently about consensual non-monogamy. Probably the most striking difference is that I’m more ambiamorous than polyamorous. What do I mean by that? I essentially mean that I’m about equally as happy being in a monogamous relationship as I am being in a polyamorous relationship system. » Read more
“What I’ve always liked about you,” she tells me, “is that you’re not one of those people who whip out your rah rah polyamory pom poms.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I think.”
“I mean it as a compliment,” she continues. “Like… you’re definitely supportive of polyamory — and other forms of consensual non-monogamy — » Read more
My partner and I are happily married, and have been doing some relationship introspection. Have you ever come across or heard about a successful married relationship where one partner is polyamorous while the other is on the Ace spectrum?
A few quick clarifications for readers who might want/need them before I answer today’s question:
Ace/ace = shorthand for asexual
allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum and/or not asexual
Personal disclosure: I am allosexual, » Read more
“So what do you do for a living?” they asked me.
“I’m a writer,” I said.
“Ohhh,” they replied. “What sorts of things do you write?”
Everyone always asks this question. It’s interesting to me how reliable this is. Back when I held a variety of other jobs, I found that followup questions were rare. » Read more
Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.
I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:
Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more
I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more
I know I write pretty frequently about polyamory, but as anyone who reads me or follows me on social media for a while knows, polyamory is far from the only thing I write or post about.
And while this site might be called Poly Land, I’m not only interested in polyamory. » Read more
Growing up, I had a really hard time saying no. Even when it was the appropriate response, it felt harsh coming out of my mouth. Wrong.
Like a lot of women, I’d been raised to default to compliance. Going along with whatever other people wanted. It was part of blending in. Being liked. » Read more
First of all I just want to say thank you for your writing. I’ve read both of your books and loved them. I read your blog almost every day. It’s all been so helpful.
Like you I entered polyamory through a previously closed relationship that went on to open up to other partners. » Read more