First of all I just want to say thank you for your writing. I’ve read both of your books and loved them. I read your blog almost every day. It’s all been so helpful.
Like you I entered polyamory through a previously closed relationship that went on to open up to other partners. » Read more
The vast majority of people don’t worry much at all about getting into a car. Like a lot of other people, I myself have been known to do it multiple times in the same day. I’ve headed out to work, to the store, to home, and then later left go on a date before driving back home after. » Read more
“I have to thank you for me having sanity,” my monogamous friend Gull says.
“Ooooo,” I say. I lean forward in my chair. This sounds like it’s gonna be good.
“So okay, I’ve been talking to this dude for about six months,” she says. “And the friendship kind of got thrown into close friendship quickly due to stupid stuff from external drama.” » Read more
There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).
They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage. » Read more
“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”
She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says. » Read more
On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:
Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk. » Read more
Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.
Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory, » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I like your writing because I feel like you talk about polyamory and monogamy in ways that are realistic and like you can understand a person pursuing either relationship style, so long as people are treating each other in a healthy way. » Read more
PQ 18.7 — Do I fully understand my partner’s choice to be monogamous or polyamorous, and am I able to accept my partner for who she is?
Ah! Very interesting. I of course didn’t write this question — these are all questions taken from the seminal polyamory text More than Two, » Read more
PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?
It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people. » Read more