I Thought I Was Monogamous. I Was Actually Obsessive.

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I’ve written about it many times, but I’m very different from a lot of people who write prominently about consensual non-monogamy. Probably the most striking difference is that I’m more ambiamorous than polyamorous. What do I mean by that? I essentially mean that I’m about equally as happy being in a monogamous relationship as I am being in a polyamorous relationship system.  » Read more

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For Better or Worse, I Don’t Have Rah Rah Polyamory Pom Poms

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“What I’ve always liked about you,” she tells me, “is that you’re not one of those people who whip out your rah rah polyamory pom poms.”

“Thanks,” I say. “I think.”

“I mean it as a compliment,” she continues. “Like… you’re definitely supportive of polyamory — and other forms of consensual non-monogamy —  » Read more

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Advice Friend: Polyamorous Couples Where One Partner Is Ace

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My partner and I are happily married, and have been doing some relationship introspection. Have you ever come across or heard about a successful married relationship where one partner is polyamorous while the other is on the Ace spectrum?


A few quick clarifications for readers who might want/need them before I answer today’s question:

Ace/ace = shorthand for asexual

allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum and/or not asexual

Personal disclosure: I am allosexual,  » Read more

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The Reasons Nobody Gets to Be a Dating “Expert”

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“So what do you do for a living?” they asked me.

“I’m a writer,” I said.

“Ohhh,” they replied. “What sorts of things do you write?”

Everyone always asks this question. It’s interesting to me how reliable this is. Back when I held a variety of other jobs, I found that followup questions were rare.  » Read more

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Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

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Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

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What Is Functional Monogamy?

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Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?


Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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