Help! I Need a Better Way to Refer to the People in My Love Life

it's a hand-drawn looking chart with a single bust of a person with arrows going to and from other clusters of people's busts
Image by Mathieu Plourde / CC BY

Dear Page,

I am pretty new to poly. I’ve only started exploring it in the last six months or so. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog, and found your advice very helpful when navigating some of the trickier points of managing multiple relationships. Thank you for that! Lately I’ve been encountering a new problem,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Cultivating Compersion Can Be a Helpful Distraction from the Pain of Tackling Jealousy and Insecurity.

a black and white photo of one person with their hands on someone's unclothed back
Image by zaphodsotherhead / CC BY

“Ugh,” I say.

“You okay?” he says.

“Yeah, my neck just hurts.” I rub the sore muscle, frowning. “No biggie. It happens sometimes.”

“Oh, mind if I help you with that?” he asks. “I can do a release.”

I’ve seen his training certificate on the wall. That he knows what he’s doing when it comes to massage therapy.   » Read more

Continue Reading

9 Steps for Having an Accountability Talk with a Partner When Things Go Wrong

It's a yellow poster board paper. In the center in large letters is the word "Accountability." It also says (moving from top left and moving clockwise): "stay on course," "walk the walk," "reflect and grow," "consequences," "This dog has teeth!" "be real - not fake," "stand and deliver," and "keep your commitments"
Image by United Workers / CC BY

In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.

I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”).   » Read more

Continue Reading

Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal With Guilt From Hurting a Partner

a very sad looking character made of marshmallows. they have little hands made from white thumbtacks.
Image by Maryam Abdulghaffar / CC BY

I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.

More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Polyamory Toolbox: The Good Roommate Standard

2 long-haired black and white cats sitting on a sofa. the one on the left looks sleepy/satisfied, the one on the right is staring straight ahead, with a curious expression on its face
Image by Isaac Wedin / CC BY

When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship. We both became much more autonomous. And it was a large adjustment getting used to our increased autonomy.

Prior to discovering polyamory,  » Read more

Continue Reading