Poly Hinges: A Field Guide

close up of a hinge
Image by Lauryn McDowell / CC BY

One thing that is plainly obvious in Poly.Land is that there are certain people who date more than others. Their dance card is fully booked. They meet a new cluster of friends and are suddenly dating two-thirds of them. We call these folks poly hinges.

Technically speaking, a “hinge” is someone who is involved with 2 people who are not involved with each other.  » Read more

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The Curse of Poly Competence

a meme, Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation rubbing his face, with the words "So my work has this cool thing. If you do your job well, you get to do other people's jobs, too!"
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It’s a familiar story – you start a new job. You’re nervous at first because you don’t know how you’re going to master everything they throw your way, but you put in effort, work hard, and persevere. It’s a struggle, but eventually you’ve got the hang of it. It may have felt like forever to you – but everyone’s so impressed by how quickly you picked it up and how well you’re doing.  » Read more

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PQ 2.2 — What configurations am I open to? Am I looking for a particular configuration because I’m afraid that others might be more scary or more threatening?

Lego pieces and parts

Photo by wooleywonderworks/CC BY

I am open to whatever configuration makes the most sense logistically and given the personalities of all involved.

It seems like folly to decide what structure I’m going to build without first having the component parts in hand.

Besides, every time I have tried to come up with some kind of tentative plan,  » Read more

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Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop: A Paradox

a red high-heeled shoe on a tan blanket
Image by Morag Riddell / CC BY

“I don’t know why I get so jealous,” she said. “I’ve been poly for years, and this has never happened to me, with anyone.”

Her face had suddenly grown quite serious. She’d just finished a story of a former partner she had worked so hard for, putting up with his shortcomings, rearranging her life.  » Read more

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