Musicians Who Prefer to Play in Groups Aren’t Considered Selfish, But Lovers Who Prefer Groups Are

it's a drawing of a drum set
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’m sitting with my girlfriend Ro at a jazz club. The band tonight is incredible. They tell us they drove directly to Cleveland from New Orleans, their home base. A 16-hour drive. But listening to them, you’d never know. If this is what rolling off the tour bus and phoning it in sounds like, I can’t imagine what their peak performance would be.  » Read more

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10 Times Gandalf Gave Excellent Relationship Advice

a Lego figurine of Gandalf the grey wizard, wearing a grey shirt, pants, and cape. With a long grey beard and a grey hat.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Ahhhh, Gandalf…

Tolkien’s chief wizard is emotional, wise, and powerful. Although aloof and at times a little arrogant, Gandalf possesses a deep insight and knowledge about the people around him. Magic isn’t the only thing he’s a wizard at. He’s superb at time management and work-life balance, having the emotional bandwidth to do things like tell gigantic flaming demons they cannot pass (seriously,  » Read more

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When First Night Effect Doesn’t Fade & Becomes Chronic Polyamorous Guilt

a black and white photo of a tree with red crepe paper stuck in its branches (the crepe paper is the only colorized thing in frame)
Image by Paleontour / CC BY

Recently, I answered a reader letter in an advice column called “I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?”

In my response to that letter, I wrote about first night effect. Essentially, first night effect is a phenomenon that many polyamorous folks experience whereby they feel either guilt or shame after their first preapproved nonmonogamous encounter.  » Read more

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PQ 23.6 — Do I give my partner space to conduct his relationship with my other partner, without trying to take sides in conflicts or carry messages between them?

3 lit candles on a plate all melting together
Image by Peter Becker / CC BY

PQ 23.6 — Do I give my partner space to conduct his relationship with my other partner, without trying to take sides in conflicts or carry messages between them?

*

2011

“You were at Justin’s last night, weren’t you?” Michelle asks me.

I sigh. I wish I didn’t,  » Read more

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Ask Page: I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?

a picture of a Storm Trooper standing with his head titled and his hands together with a background of several hearts floating behind his head
Image by JD Hancock / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve been polyamorous for about 6 months — well poly in theory anyway. I have mostly been looking until recently. My wife has had more success finding partners, and I’ve mostly just been hanging, going to meetups. But I finally started dating someone, and she’s great. For this letter,  » Read more

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