“When a Metamour Resents My Existence, I Feel My Compersion Begin to Die”

black and white photo of a cat lying on a blanket
Image by Meagan, Pretty Piper / CC BY

Hi Page,

My compersion appears to be conditional. I’m not ashamed for this. I’m trying to acknowledge it and turn it around. Love shouldn’t be conditional and for me it’s not. So this has been a big pill to swallow. Have you written about this? When a partner’s partner resents your existence and you feel your compersion for them begin to die?  » Read more

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Potato Rock Revelations, Or When You Learn Something New About Someone You’ve Known a Long Time

a bunch of potatoes with dirt and sticks still clinging to them
Image by F Delventhal / CC BY

My mother-in-law likes to walk beaches and look for interesting rocks. And apparently she has plenty to choose from on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Her collection is proudly displayed in her living room. And there’s just about everything you can imagine in there.

Apparently one time many, many years ago,  » Read more

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I Have an Extreme, Possibly Irrational, Hatred of Online Dating

a person pictured on a laptop reaches out of the laptop and shakes hands with the person on the other side
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Confession: I have an extreme, possibly irrational, hatred of online dating.

I Didn’t Try Online Dating Until 2009 After I Had My First Polyamorous Relationships

I started my very first serious long-term monogamous relationship in the spring of 2001. Back then, online dating certainly existed, but not many people were using it. Online dating was a lot more niche —  » Read more

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Dear God Is Monogamy Easier When You Stop Shaming Yourself for Crushes

a bunch of stick figure seeming dolls, all happy, moving in a crowd
Image by Alexandre Delbos / CC BY

“I have to thank you for me having sanity,” my monogamous friend Gull says.

“Ooooo,” I say. I lean forward in my chair. This sounds like it’s gonna be good.

“So okay, I’ve been talking to this dude for about six months,” she says. “And the friendship kind of got thrown into close friendship quickly due to stupid stuff from external drama.”  » Read more

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

two drawings of anime heroes. The one on the left has blond hair and is sitting on a green dragon. The one on the left has brown hair and is standing atop a red toad.
Image by Taro Urata / CC BY

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called  I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:

Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now.  » Read more

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