“You know what my ultimate polyamorous nightmare would be?” I say to him.
“What’s that?” he replies.
“That you’d be dating this woman who you are just crazy about. And who is nice to me when you’re around, but the moment you turn your back, she starts being actively terrible to me. » Read more
As I wrote in an earlier piece, while I didn’t practice polyamory until the last decade or so, I’ve been bisexual for as long as I can remember. And as such, I’m no stranger to bisexual erasure. It’s been a constant companion no matter where I go.
Bisexual erasure involves basically any attempt to invalidate bisexuality as a real sexual identity, » Read more
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts. » Read more
metamour (noun) – a partner’s other partner
“When are you meeting up with your lady friend?” I ask my partner Justin.
Lady friend. I don’t know what else to call her. Since I don’t yet know her first name. That’ll come later. All I know at this point is that they both swiped the same way on Tinder and are planning to meet up to… » Read more
It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.
I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense. » Read more
“You know what my favorite thing about polyamory is?” she says.
“What’s that?” I reply.
“That there’s room to have relationships that don’t follow traditional norms,” she says.
I nod. Because I know what she means. “You’re not confined to the rules of the relationship escalator,” » Read more
Can a solo poly person be a nesting partner?
Thanks for the question! Before I dive deeply into it, let’s first explore the definitions of those two terms for readers who might be unfamiliar with them. » Read more
What Is a Nesting Partner?
Let’s say your partner is seeing someone new, the reader wrote. And you don’t really like them. What do you do?
I nodded when I got this question. Aloud I said, “It happens. It definitely happens.”
And I wrote a blog post in response — “Help, » Read more
You polyamorous people, she writes, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too.
I’ve never liked this analogy. “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”
The wording’s always been a little confusing since “have” is often used when talking about food to mean “eat.” » Read more
“You know what I’m looking forward to the most about buying a house?” she says.
“Personal space. Privacy,” she says. “And lots of it.”
I nod. I know what she means. As it stands, it’s pretty much impossible to have a date over in her apartment and have any degree of privacy if her nesting partner is home. » Read more