Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
It all started with a silly meme that I made for Poly.Land’s Facebook page, mixing polyamory with a bit of Harry Potter. “Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.”
But as fate would have it, I was throwing a party at my house that very evening. The first one since I started dating my three partners that they would all be in attendance: Skyspook, » Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
I recently wrote a post called “Territorial Markers Aren’t a Great Proxy for Love.” In it, I talk about the time I was challenged because my husband shared a rainbow wine glass with a guest. Without my realizing it, those particular glasses had become emotionally linked to a romantic trip we’d taken together. » Read more
Crying in the Shower
I slump against the shower wall, fumbling for the spout.
As soon as the hot water hits me, water springs from my own eyes. It’s like a rainstorm in the desert. My lungs open like desert blooms, and I sob with my full might.
I hear footsteps in an adjacent room. » Read more
My second book, a quickstart guide for people looking to open up their relationships (especially geeky couples), is almost done. The beta readers have given their feedback, and I’m fixing the final draft as we speak so that Skyspook can finish the layout. Eeeeee! So exciting! Coming soon — don’t worry, you won’t miss it. » Read more
“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”
“But?”
“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.” » Read more
PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?
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A new thread appears in one of the poly discussion groups I’m in. Asking people for their input on what the terms “primary” » Read more
“It just isn’t fair,” he says. “I see them falling in love so much faster than we did. This is zero to sixty in seconds, my partner and metamour.”
“Does the speed make you feel like you’re going to be replaced?” I ask.
“No, I’m actually not worried about that,” » Read more
“Hey you twoooo!” I say, stepping through the door. I call this greeting out as loudly as I possibly can. Sing-songy in a way that I know will carry into the living room.
The acoustics of my house have long been a vital factor in how Skyspook and I date others separately while living together. » Read more
“How are you holding up?” I ask her.
“I’ll be honest with you,” she says. “It’s not good.”
I wait.
“It’s so strange. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. He’s the one that’s going through the breakup. But I feel like I am, too,” she says. » Read more
