10 Times Gandalf Gave Excellent Relationship Advice

a Lego figurine of Gandalf the grey wizard, wearing a grey shirt, pants, and cape. With a long grey beard and a grey hat.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Ahhhh, Gandalf…

Tolkien’s chief wizard is emotional, wise, and powerful. Although aloof and at times a little arrogant, Gandalf possesses a deep insight and knowledge about the people around him. Magic isn’t the only thing he’s a wizard at. He’s superb at time management and work-life balance, having the emotional bandwidth to do things like tell gigantic flaming demons they cannot pass (seriously,  » Read more

Continue Reading

When First Night Effect Doesn’t Fade & Becomes Chronic Polyamorous Guilt

a black and white photo of a tree with red crepe paper stuck in its branches (the crepe paper is the only colorized thing in frame)
Image by Paleontour / CC BY

Recently, I answered a reader letter in an advice column called “I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?”

In my response to that letter, I wrote about first night effect. Essentially, first night effect is a phenomenon that many polyamorous folks experience whereby they feel either guilt or shame after their first preapproved nonmonogamous encounter.  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 23.6 — Do I give my partner space to conduct his relationship with my other partner, without trying to take sides in conflicts or carry messages between them?

3 lit candles on a plate all melting together
Image by Peter Becker / CC BY

PQ 23.6 — Do I give my partner space to conduct his relationship with my other partner, without trying to take sides in conflicts or carry messages between them?

*

2011

“You were at Justin’s last night, weren’t you?” Michelle asks me.

I sigh. I wish I didn’t,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Ask Page: I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?

a picture of a Storm Trooper standing with his head titled and his hands together with a background of several hearts floating behind his head
Image by JD Hancock / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve been polyamorous for about 6 months — well poly in theory anyway. I have mostly been looking until recently. My wife has had more success finding partners, and I’ve mostly just been hanging, going to meetups. But I finally started dating someone, and she’s great. For this letter,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Polyamory Helped Me Find a Community of Other Bisexual People

It's the bisexual flag. Three horizontal stripes, going from top to bottom: Pink, purple, blue.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

As I’ve written before, unlike a lot of other polyamorous educators, I wasn’t someone who always knew I was polyamorous. Indeed, I considered myself quite a monogamous person growing up. Even now, I think of myself as being more ambiamorous than anything else, able to happily practice either polyamory or monogamy,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Apparently You’re Not Supposed to Invite Exes to Your Wedding. Oops.

bride and groom wedding cake toppers made of sock monkey puppets
Image by Tamara / CC BY

I’ve been married twice, but until recently I had never been asked to be in a wedding that wasn’t my own. You could say I was always a bride, never a bridesmaid. But in the past few months, I received news that this is about to change.

First, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in what will arguably be one of the most polyamorous weddings I’ve ever been to,  » Read more

Continue Reading
1 2 3 32