PQ 9.12 — Am I asked to “respect” my partner or her other partners, but feel that this respect is not reciprocated?

a brown sign cardboard sign that reads "respect existence or expect resistance"
Image by Tyler Merbler / CC BY

PQ 9.12 — Am I asked to “respect” my partner or her other partners, but feel that this respect is not reciprocated?

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There’s a great quote that has been flying around the Internet the past couple of years about respect:

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person”  » Read more

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Mapping Territory Off the Escalator: An Interview with Amy Gahran

City of Baltimore Topographical Survey, c. 1894 (George Peabody Library Maps 3.13 and 3.14)
Image by Matthew Petroff / CC BY

I’ve long been a fan of Amy Gahran’s work. Under her pen name Aggie Sez, Gahran founded the blog solopoly.net, where she has been writing for many years about the unique challenges faced by those who tackle “life, relationships, and dating as a free agent.”

One post in particular, “Riding the Relationship Escalator,  » Read more

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PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?

A chart labeled "A helpful Venn diagram." There is an orange circle on the left labeled "The Internet" and a green circle on the right labeled "privacy." They do not overlap whatsoever.
Image by Bernard Goldbach / CC BY

PQ 9.10 — Do I feel I have no expectation of privacy in my other relationships?

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I’ve written a bit about the importance of letting others have privacy in an earlier piece: Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert: Walking that Fine Line. As I wrote then:

While an overall atmosphere of transparency is a wonderful thing in polyamory (as it can promote understanding and build trust),  » Read more

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Running Out of Side Quests on the Quest for Primary

the shadow of what appears to be a man holding a lightning bolt, like the god Zeus
Image by vasse nicolas,antoine / CC BY

“If you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could.  » Read more

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