The Conscientious Polyamorist

a large and very neatly organized and labeled spice collection sitting on a kitchen counter. Two electrical outlets are visible above the spices. The bottom edge of what appears to be a wooden cabinet frames the top of the image.
Image by Lenore Edman / CC BY

A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.

Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:

  1. Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
  2. People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them

As the study authors wrote about the second point:

“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized,  » Read more

Continue Reading

How I Accidentally Got Closure On One Relationship From Another

a broken heart-shaped mirror sitting on a red flower on what appears to be pavement
Image by TimOve / CC BY

“I love you,” Skyspook said. “And that’s why if you go back there, back to that house, this relationship is over.”

“Yeah,” Seth said. “You’re not going back there.”

I’d just gotten done telling them (my husband and boyfriend) and two of our friends — Crock and Hilda — about an unfortunate incident with my other partner Rob.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Identifying as a Unicorn Allowed Me to Feel Proud of Something I Grew Up Feeling Ashamed About

a shadowy outline of a unicorn bucking up on its hindlegs on a rooftop. Its horn appears to be electrified. In the distance, there is a large tower with electrical activity at its top as well.
Image by Avariel Falcon / CC BY

“What’s a unicorn?” someone new to polyamory and its lexicon will invariably ask.

As folks pop up to answer the question, a few definitions will emerge. The most basic one is that the term “unicorn” is one that is primarily used in polyamorous circles to denote a bisexual woman who will date couples (most commonly heterosexual ones).  » Read more

Continue Reading
1 2 3 25