“I’m going to Costco in a bit,” I say to Ro.
“Have fun,” she replies. “Eat many samples.”
“Mmm samples,” I say.
And I’m off to the store.
It’s Saturday, so the sampling stations are out in full force. One worker is making some kind of veggie burgers. » Read more
If you’re anything like me, your imagination is really good at coming up with scary possibilities. When it comes to conjuring up irrational fear, my brain is great at wiping the floor with me.
So of course, this tendency predisposes me to feeling intimidated by new metamours. Basically, everyone’s a supermodel astrophysicist until I meet them. » Read more
I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic
I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved. » Read more
It can be a tricky rite of passage in polyamory: Being alone for the evening for the first time while your nesting partner has a date with someone else.
I’ll be the first to admit that it was brutally difficult for me at first when I experienced this rite of passage many years ago, » Read more
One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”
Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle, » Read more
“If you look at someone who does not handle life well, it is often because he always thinks, feels, or acts in only one way and would never consider the opposite.”
-Al Siebert, The Survivor Personality
In previous installments of Polyamory Toolbox, we covered:
- Good Roommate Standard.
» Read more
“Page, how are you doing?” she asks, and before I can answer, she adds. “You know, it’s really been too long.”
“Oh you’re probably right,” I say. “Fair warning: My sense of time has been all messed up lately. I think that things that happened 6 months ago just happened and that last week was last year.” » Read more
“You know, I love my diet,” she says. “I’m down 30 pounds. Never felt healthier. But you know, sometimes I have the hardest time getting myself to the gym. And I’ll be walking around town and hit a block where there’s a bunch of restaurants and I’ll get a whiff of that fry oil and ohhhhhh.” » Read more
Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations. Not just help for secondaries, » Read more
“My head’s a little messed up,” she says.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
She tells me a pretty woeful tale. Without getting into too many details, her partner has violated their relationship agreement. And badly.
“I imagine that had to be a tough conversation,” I say.
“It was,” » Read more