Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
I can still remember what my ex-husband said when we’d been dating each for a few months.
“I’m sad that the chase is over.”
I laughed at the time when he said it. Which he wasn’t fond of, because he was being serious (and he often interpreted laughter as hostile).
He went on to explain that his favorite parts of his past relationships had been in the courtship phase. » Read more
My new novel Psychic City has been out for a few weeks. And holy hornbeam have y’all been awesome about it. I’ve been hearing from a lot you who have already read the book (wow) and really enjoyed it (aww).
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the book, Psychic City is a slipstream mystery that follows a trio of polyamorous women who are detectives investigating a string of murders. » Read more
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had it said to me, but I can still remember the first time I had a partner say “you’re just jealous” in a dismissive way.
At the time, I’d been concerned about something very important. I could see my metamour wasn’t treating our partner very well. » Read more
I have a big announcement to make. My new book is finally out. It’s called Psychic City, and it’s a slipstream murder mystery that features an FFF triad of polyamorous detectives:
“This is a weird and difficult time to be polyamorous,” he says.
And I know what he means. I’m not sure what to do with it all. With any of it.
It’s tempting at times like these to come up with a quick answer that sounds good. To make up flowcharts or guides that address the problems we want to have rather than the ones we actually have. » Read more
I recently posted an essay called “A Bad Partner Fit Can Make You Feel Like You’re Worthless.” In it, I contrast two relationships I’ve been in, not by discussing the qualities of the two different partners, but by sharing the different ways they described me:
It’s easy to come up with differences between those two relationships. » Read more
I’ve been reading more and more about a new relationship term lately: Self-partnering.
It had a big pop culture moment last month when Emma Watson declared herself self-partnered in an interview.
Since then, multiple articles have spun off, and people are talking more and more about the idea of self-partnering. The concept that a person could be single but not feel lonely, » Read more
Have you ever met someone who is fantastic at first? There’s something fun and shiny about them.
Maybe they’re things that you’re missing in the rest of your life. That you don’t know anybody else who does well. Or can engage with you on that particular level.
Maybe these aspects are so shiny that you are quick to forgive many things that should have given you cause for concern. » Read more
“I love your new book,” she said.
“Thanks,” I replied. “I don’t usually like what I write, but I’m proud of that one. I’m happy with how it turned out.”
“I’m glad someone said it,” she said. “Loud and clear.”
“Said it?”
“That metamour relationships can be difficult sometimes. » Read more
Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.
They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist, » Read more
