In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.
I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”). » Read more
PQ 3.1 — Have I disclosed all relevant information to everyone affected by my decision? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
“You can’t just add on another relationship without consulting anybody. That’s not how poly fucking works!” » Read more
“I think Rob is more in love with the idea of having a girlfriend than actually in love with me,” I said.
I could hear Skyspook’s breathing change. This was dangerous territory. My words were my truth, sure, but they were also a kind of betrayal.
The funny thing about polyamory, » Read more
One of the most common questions I run into as I talk with polyamorous folks and frequent forums is: Why do poly people get upset when you call them swingers? What’s so bad about being a swinger?
I’ve struggled with this question a lot myself. I used to get really upset when people would call me a swinger. » Read more
A lot of us are guilty of giving poly honor student answers.
“You’re poly?” we’re asked. “Aren’t you worried about diseases?”
And we answer with the standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer, which goes a little something like this: “Of course we are, but we all practice safe sex and are regularly tested.”
Of course, » Read more
“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”
Just about everyone has heard of the placebo effect.
Nocebo effect, on the other hand, is far less widely known.
Nocebo effect is the opposite of placebo effect. It’s the belief that we’re being exposed to harmful substances when in fact we are not, » Read more
I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant. Anxious types, fueled by an insatiable emotional hunger, seek that closeness from their avoidant partner, » Read more
In an earlier post, I spent some time sharing some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a poly person. I’ve realized now that I neglected to mention the biggest one of all:
I assumed all polyamorous people who had been at it longer than I had were progressive, enlightened, » Read more
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.
I was on fire again. Staring at Seth, watching him sleep.
I wished I could sleep, too.
No chance of that. » Read more
“Just so we’re clear,” Don said. “You’ll never be as close to me as my wife. Not that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re lovely, don’t get me wrong.”
“Okay,” I said.
“No one will,” he continued.
I wondered why he was even telling me this. It had come out of nowhere. » Read more