It’s been a year since Skyspook and I reopened our relationship.
And what am I learning, looking back on the past year?
I find more than anything that I’ve grown incredibly selfish.
It’s not that I’m selfish with my love… I love freely, finding myself charmed by and attracted to any number of individuals. » Read more
From “Orientation” – originally written 1/30/2011:
Having transitioned from a monogamous marriage almost 2 years ago into a polyamorous one, I’ve been close to a lot more self-identifying bisexual women than I ever had before (really, most of the women I’ve had sex with up until recently considered themselves straight) and had many more female friends who identify as bisexual. » Read more
In the process of talking to my friend Fluffy about old traumas this evening, it become absolutely clear: much is made of the leering, frothing disgusting rapist, ready and waiting in the shadows to defile.
Looking back, my rapist was incredibly normal — even a bit tedious.
He was a Republican. » Read more
“One pill a day,” Dr. Fodor said. “And your daughter will be fine.”
The social worker laid her hand on my mother’s arm. “See, Mrs. Turner, I told you. There’s plenty that can be done. She won’t be inpatient forever.”
“She’s starting to remember who she is,” Dad added. » Read more
Costumes: “…general usage has gradually been replaced by the terms ‘dress’, ‘attire’ or ‘wear’ and usage of ‘costume’ has become more limited to unusual or out-of-date clothing and to attire intended to evoke a change in identity, such as theatrical, Halloween, and mascot costumes.”
It’s that time of year again when I ponder my inclination to arrive at Halloween parties dressed as myself, » Read more
I used to think I wanted to be his fetish.
I wanted him to be obsessed with me.
Now I’m glad he’s not.
I dated a guy in my old poly web who had clear preferences, and all of them definitely what I was not. My ex liked small-breasted women, » Read more
I smoothed down the black silk over my full hips, noting the high slit. Good for movement and enticing without being trashy, I decided. The lace had held up well in storage, those months this slip had spent in a kind of time-out, awaiting a weight loss that would allow it to fit again. I adjusted the straps and made sure my breasts lined up in a logical way with the bust area. » Read more
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
It’s interesting what Fetlife does and doesn’t think is important to announce to one’s friends stream. » Read more
2011: Michelle is waiting for me at the door as Skyspook pulls the car back out into the street to go to work. She rolls her eyes at me.
“If you’re not fucking him, then what the hell are you doing over there all night?”
I avert my eyes. “Sleeping, for one.”
“You sleep like shit,” she snaps. » Read more
Much has been made recently of gaslighting, and it’s a very important concept to keep track of, boundary policing being of paramount importance especially in those who have multiple relationships. Here’s a good essay on gaslighting: http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2011/11/02/on-gasslighting/
Briefly: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which the target is continually forced to question their own sanity. » Read more