The hardest part about becoming a person who has standards is that
a) I’m now capable of being disappointed by other people in situations that do not involve gross mistreatment/neglect
b) I have almost no experience in dealing with the feelings that come from people disappointing me in minor ways. » Read more
There’s a reason why a cactus has spines. Cacti live and thrive in deserts, one of the harshest classes of biome on the face of the Earth, surrounded by creatures that have adapted to survive those conditions. Their spines not only help dissuade other life forms from eating them but also dramatically increase a cactus’s surface area and allow them to better absorb water from infrequent rains. » Read more
Due to falling back, the commute home yesterday took place for the first time in darkness. I’ve always done my best thinking in the dark, and last night was no exception. As I was cruising along 77 North with that flamethrower-looking thingie blazing and Terminal Tower all lit up in purple on my left, » Read more
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Even though I’ve never had a problem with alcoholism per se (although I do concede that I enjoy liquor on occasion), » Read more
It’s been over 2 years since my divorce was finalized, and it’s funny. The more time that passes, the more it feels like my first marriage was something that happened to someone else. It’s a gentle and gradual process learning how to be married to someone else, especially when Skyspook is so radically different from my ex. » Read more
The Fourth was terrific. Spook and I drove up to Michigan to hang with his wonderful family, largely composed of hippies. We ate yummy food while catching each other up on the goings on in our various lives, and then Spook and his brother shot off an impressive battery of fireworks in the swamp.
I was still wound pretty tight when we’d gotten there. » Read more
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
Me: Ugh, stop that.
Skyspook: And apparently you’re ashamed that you’re proud of that. » Read more
Having a mood disorder puts you into a bit of a double bind re: relationships. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
If your partner hasn’t been through anxiety or depression, they don’t know what it’s like, and many times they’ll be unsupportive, blame you, and say things like “just snap out of it.” » Read more
Monster was a good kitty.
He was ancient, nearly 20, although like many cats, his appearance didn’t betray his age. Had I found him on the street, I would have thought he seemed 10 or so. The legend is that Monster started his life as a kitten hiding in a hot tub enclosure, » Read more
In September of 2000, I had a psychotic break that resulted in a 2-week stay on an inpatient psych ward after I spent nearly 10 days awake when I left my abusive boyfriend.
The real trauma started when I became lucid and began to heal enough to be discharged home with my parents. » Read more