There was a story a friend of mine used to tell. When he was in school, his teacher had called the class to attention and said, “There’s something you all should know. One of you has a very unpleasant odor. Please make sure you are washing with soap regularly.” Someone in the class predictably asked who the teacher was talking about. » Read more
The DSM-IV defines a mental disorder as “a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual [which] is associated with present distress…or disability…or with a significant increased risk of suffering.”
In short, your idiosyncrasies, your proclivities, your deviance must cause a problem to be a problem. » Read more
Gaslighting: A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent.
Here is an excellent article on gaslighting that details how insidious and innocent-seeming these manipulations can seem, » Read more
You know it’s going to be an interesting meeting when the first item on the agenda is “Please fist me.”
Ok, I’ll rewind.
It started a week earlier when I’d confessed to Skyspook that I didn’t know how to help him, how to play my part in our relationship, build the D/s dynamic. » Read more
Before my explorations in kink with Skyspook, there was another man, Ex-Boyfriend in Cleveland. I met Ex-Boyfriend through a girl I was seeing as he was her husband’s best friend and her friend with occasional benefits. I had already become rather curious about the kink scene as a result of the apparent crossover between polyamory and BDSM. » Read more
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
There’s something absolutely terrifying about radical independence. It’s not a message our culture encourages – stand up for yourself, be strong. So many traditions are in bed with lies that are bundled together and pre-packaged, everything with a price tag. » Read more
So much work has already been done, sorting out my own head, my feelings, thought patterns, behaviors. And so much lies ahead.
Today, a single thought crystallizes into word form, “He treats me better than a friend, and this is what shocks me.”
I’ve felt this, thought it wordlessly, nebulously, without form – » Read more
“Before you treat me, I need to make sure you’re comfortable with a few things.”
“I’m part of the local kink community. I’m really into it. It’s important to me.”
“Kink community?” The look on my therapist’s face is one of sheer confusion.
I sigh. » Read more
I’ve decided that the recipe for unhappiness is requiring other people for your sense of closure. » Read more