Gaslighting

Gaslighting: A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent.

Here is an excellent article on gaslighting that details how insidious and innocent-seeming these manipulations can seem,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Choosing

You know it’s going to be an interesting meeting when the first item on the agenda is “Please fist me.”

Ok, I’ll rewind.

It started a week earlier when I’d confessed to Skyspook that I didn’t know how to help him, how to play my part in our relationship, build the D/s dynamic.  » Read more

Continue Reading

A Valentine to Myself

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

Mae West

There’s something absolutely terrifying about radical independence. It’s not a message our culture encourages – stand up for yourself, be strong. So many traditions are in bed with lies that are bundled together and pre-packaged, everything with a price tag.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Better Than a Friend

So much work has already been done, sorting out my own head, my feelings, thought patterns, behaviors. And so much lies ahead.

Today, a single thought crystallizes into word form, “He treats me better than a friend, and this is what shocks me.”

I’ve felt this, thought it wordlessly, nebulously, without form –  » Read more

Continue Reading

Discretion/Cowardice?

“Before you treat me, I need to make sure you’re comfortable with a few things.”

“Such as?”

“I’m part of the local kink community. I’m really into it. It’s important to me.”

“Kink community?” The look on my therapist’s face is one of sheer confusion.

I sigh.  » Read more

Continue Reading