“You’re Just Jealous”: When Being Open About Your Insecurities Causes Partners to Assume You’re Concern Trolling

a hand crushing a water bottle
Image by Pexels / PD

It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had it said to me, but I can still remember the first time I had a partner say “you’re just jealous” in a dismissive way.

At the time, I’d been concerned about something very important. I could see my metamour wasn’t treating our partner very well.  » Read more

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When You Already Know What Your Problem Is & What to Do About It

a couch
Image by Brian Teutsch / CC 0

“I think you’re much too hard on yourself,” he says. “You have a strong negative self-bias.”

“One of the strongest of anyone you’ve ever met?” I ask.

He nods. “You think everything’s your fault, whenever anything goes wrong. And it’s not.”

I know what he means. In a perverse confirmation of what he’s saying,  » Read more

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