There are few things scarier than falling in love with someone who lacks an emotional immune system. An internal sense of “this is how I’d like to be treated.” Ways of identifying harmful behaviors. And the ability to ward off those who would mistreat them.
This state of vulnerability is bad enough in monogamy. » Read more
Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. » Read more
“Face the demons if they approach, but don’t go demon hunting,” my friend Gull says.
It’s solid advice.
At one point in my life, I was totally overrun by demons. They poured in like one of those epic scenes in The Lord of the Rings. Think the Battle of Helmsdeep. » Read more
PTSD Is Like Grieving Your Own Death, Comforting Your Own Ghost
“You should really write fiction again,” Skyspook says.
I shudder. “Ugh. Why?”
He looks at me curiously. “Because you’ve got a hell of a brain. And your non-fiction is so good. It draws people in. Imagine what you could do with fiction.” » Read more
“Is it normal to get the hang of the compersion thing when it comes to romantic relationships? But struggle when it comes to your friends?” she says.
“By struggling when it comes to your friends you mean…?”
“I just look around and see all these good things happening to my friends, » Read more
If you’re anything like me, you run into times where you struggle with self-doubt. Especially when solving problems with ambiguous solutions. Or doing something creative.
And when you’re struggling, you’ll catch yourself midsentence saying something like, “No, no, that’s not right. That’s stupid.”
Redlining your own work over and over again for hours with little to show for your effort. » Read more
I’m very interested in polyamory, but one thing holds me back. I worry that it’s not possible to have multiple relationships and have them all be as deep and invested as they possibly can be. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I pride myself in working hard at everything I do, as hard as I possibly can. » Read more
For a while I was really into Let’s Play videos, playthroughs of games accompanied by the gamer’s color commentary. The best LPs are hilarious, and oddly like hanging out with a friend who is both wittier and better at games than you are.
“Page, you could never do a Let’s Play,” my friend John told me. » Read more
A core principle in the field of ergonomics is that a workstation should be designed with the user’s comfort in mind. The tools are laid out to serve the body. When we contort our bodies in an effort to match up with poorly aligned tools, productivity suffers. And repetitive strain injuries can follow.
When I worked for a large hospital system, » Read more
PQ 8.1 — Am I worried that if someone “better” comes along, my partner will realize I’m not good enough and want to replace me?
Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.
I wish to hell I’d never said the damned thing. I meant having a goal…I sure as hell didn’t mean for people to crush human values and morality. » Read more