You’re Only as Sick As Your Secrets

Red stamped letters that say "SECRET." Below this is a closeup of typewritten letters (it appears to be part of a larger cropped document), which reads: on of suitable wa ighting force in"
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My feelings on 12-step programs are complicated. While some people have gained a ton of personal benefit from them, my own experiences in 12-step programs were considerably more checkered and regrettable. That, coupled with having read extensive research that counters a lot of the core claims of those programs, has generally soured me on them.  » Read more

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What’s the Difference Between Masochism and Self-Harm?

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Hi Page,

I’ve been exploring my more kinky side and I would definitely say I’m a masochist. However, I’ve recently been wondering if I’ve been seeking this out as a new form of self-harm. I used to self-harm in the past and have stopped for a few years, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just placed the responsibility on someone else.   » Read more

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A Different Kind of Self-Confidence: Letting Enough Be Enough Rather than Needing to Feel Like You’re the Best

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There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:

“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”

But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words,  » Read more

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Could Procrastination Sometimes Be a Form of Masochism?

a board of multicolored post-it notes that all say "do it!" in marker
Image by Vic / CC BY

It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.

You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person.  » Read more

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