Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had it said to me, but I can still remember the first time I had a partner say “you’re just jealous” in a dismissive way.
At the time, I’d been concerned about something very important. I could see my metamour wasn’t treating our partner very well. » Read more
“I want attention,” I tell him, arms outstretched.
And as he wraps me up into a hug, I can feel his laughter reverberating through both of our chests. I love that laughter. Part of why I fell in love with him in the first place is because he’s a person who laughs with wild abandon. » Read more
“I did a very bad thing last night,” I say. “I compared myself to other people. And I hurt myself in the process.”
“You know better than that,” he says.
I know he’s right. I’m always saying that comparing someone else’s public best to your private worst is the road to ruin. » Read more
It isn’t just what happens to you. It’s how you interpret it. The lessons you learn. The way you talk to yourself about what has happened and apply that experience to the future.
The stories we tell ourselves matter. About what has happened to us, about what is currently going on, about what tomorrow might bring. » Read more
“You have to be careful about what you fix….If you irrigate a desert, you might empty a sea. It’s a complicated business, fixing things.”
-Percival Everett, “The Fix”
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I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. It’s easy to get comfortable when nothing changes for a while. » Read more
Like a lot of other people, I’ve been having a rough spring and summer. There’s the pandemic of course, making an inescapable impact across America.
But I had a big personal challenge in late April when my father passed away. Grieving is never easy, and I’ve found that it’s doubly difficult during the pandemic, » Read more
A few days ago, I posted about my elderly cat, who recently fell ill. After a round of lab work, he was newly diagnosed with diabetes and admitted to the animal hospital.
It wasn’t easy to do, driving away, leaving him behind. Just like any time that I have to get him seen, » Read more
As regular readers know, I love when new terms pop into existence. I’m not the person who sighs, screws up my face, and asks, “Ugh, do we need another label?’
Nope. It “not me.” Absolutely, positively, 100% not me.
I’m the person who sits up a little straighter in their seat and goes, » Read more
I don’t write about it all that often because weight tends to be a touchy or full-on traumatizing matter for people, regardless of your relationship to it, but from 2009-2012, I lost 160 pounds.
The first question people typically ask at this point is “how did you do it?” The answer usually disappoints them. » Read more
“I think you’re much too hard on yourself,” he says. “You have a strong negative self-bias.”
“One of the strongest of anyone you’ve ever met?” I ask.
He nods. “You think everything’s your fault, whenever anything goes wrong. And it’s not.”
I know what he means. In a perverse confirmation of what he’s saying, » Read more
