Polyamory Helped Me Ditch Codependence and Find Healthy Interdependence

a closeup photo of a rusted chain link joined to two other rusted chain links
Image by Chris Dart / CC BY

Codependence is an overused term implying that normal partner interdependence is somehow dysfunctional.

The concept and terminology came out of the Alcoholics Anonymous movement; the addicted were seen as trapped in a web of dependency with others (their enablers, or codependents) who made excuses for and assisted the addicts in avoiding the consequences of their addiction,  » Read more

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Disappointment Lives in the Space Between Fantasy and Reality

a concrete train platform. It has the following stamped on it in blue letters "BEWARE GAP WHEN BOARDING"
Image by Laurence Grayson / CC BY

Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults.  » Read more

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Getting Up Before Martin Does: Circadian Rhythm as Anxiety Killer

pine marten, brain weasel
Image by Steve Slocomb / CC BY

If you’re anything like me, you run into times where you struggle with self-doubt. Especially when solving problems with ambiguous solutions. Or doing something creative.

And when you’re struggling, you’ll catch yourself midsentence saying something like, “No, no, that’s not right. That’s stupid.”

Redlining your own work over and over again for hours with little to show for your effort.  » Read more

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