Hi Page, I enjoyed your open letter to your mother. I don’t have a difficult relationship with my own parents, so it was very eye opening to me. I do have friends whose situation is similar to yours though. The holidays are coming up soon, and I’ve heard that they can be a tough time for people estranged from their families. » Read more
It’s probably no surprise, but I think polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy can be downright awesome.
That said, every good thing has downsides. For this article, I had conversations with four different folks who are all happily polyamorous asking the following question: What’s the worst thing about polyamory?
Here’s how it went:
Take 1: There’s a Potential For More Let Downs
“Sometimes I feel like dating multiple people is an opportunity to let more people down at once,” » Read more
Tolkien’s chief wizard is emotional, wise, and powerful. Although aloof and at times a little arrogant, Gandalf possesses a deep insight and knowledge about the people around him. Magic isn’t the only thing he’s a wizard at. He’s superb at time management and work-life balance, having the emotional bandwidth to do things like tell gigantic flaming demons they cannot pass (seriously, » Read more
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
Hi Page, how do you know it’s time to end a relationship? I know relationships take work, but sometimes I feel like I’m beating a dead horse.
Great question! This was a tricky distinction for me to master. For the longest time, I was really reluctant to break up with people (even when it made sense to) because I’d internalized the following scripts surrounding breakups:
- Breakups are bad in and of themselves.
As I’ve written a few times now, I take my time when it comes to dating new people. I’m nearly always friends first. Sometimes I like to joke that my dating style is ent, like those giant trees in Lord of the Rings. An ent has all the time in the world. » Read more
It can be a tricky rite of passage in polyamory: Being alone for the evening for the first time while your nesting partner has a date with someone else.
Mister Rogers was a very big part of my childhood. He was a gentle, loving presence on television that reminded there were people in the world who were wholesome and truly cared about others, even if they seemed like they were in awfully short supply in my own life.
Even now, 15 years after his death, » Read more
It doesn’t feel great to admit, but I used to bitterly dislike anyone my current partner had dated in the past. This boiled down to five reasons. The first four of these were fairly conscious reasons, ones I was aware of. The fifth one, not so much. Here they are: » Read more
1. They hurt my partner.
Jealousy is not some kind of crime. It’s a signal. Perhaps it’s a very strong emotional signal — and often not a very specific one — but it’s definitely not a crime. And as with all strong emotional reactions, we are tasked with figuring out how best to identify and respond to jealousy, » Read more