8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

a fantasy portrait of a woman peering through water or clouds with a contemplative look on her face with both hands placed on her head
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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10 Things That Happened When I Exclusively Dated a Man Who Wanted Sex Way Less Often Than I Did

a black and white photo of a lonely woman sitting on the ground waiting. She is wearing what appears to be a white top and a flower print skirt. Her hand is pressed to the side of her face.
Image by budibudz / CC BY

Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.

However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did.  » Read more

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9 Steps for Having an Accountability Talk with a Partner When Things Go Wrong

It's a yellow poster board paper. In the center in large letters is the word "Accountability." It also says (moving from top left and moving clockwise): "stay on course," "walk the walk," "reflect and grow," "consequences," "This dog has teeth!" "be real - not fake," "stand and deliver," and "keep your commitments"
Image by United Workers / CC BY

In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.

I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”).   » Read more

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