“But what if they test positive?”

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“But aren’t you worried about diseases?”

It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option.

Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are,  » Read more

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Pragmatically Chosen Family: A Checklist

  • A friend who does a fantastic “bitch face”
  • A friend who is a lawyer, works for a lawyer, or has general legal savvy
  • Someone who is hilarious when you get a few drinks into them
  • A friend with much better fashion sense than you have
  • Someone with fabulous taste in shoes who shares your shoe size
  • An expert in navigating public transportation
  • Someone with excellent proofreading skills
  • Someone who will tell you that you’re not crazy to feel a certain way when you really need someone to
  • Someone not afraid to tell you “no”
  •   » Read more

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Haters Gonna Hate

“Keep your eye on the intuitions, and don’t take people’s moral arguments at face value. They’re mostly post hoc constructions made up on the fly, crafted to advance one or more strategic objectives.”

-Jonathan Haidt, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion

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A month or so ago,  » Read more

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Legalista, Bridal Consultant

Something about buying a wedding dress makes the upcoming wedding seem so much more real.

“Page, this is so you!” Legalista says.

I study myself in the mirror. Chic, sexy, elegant, nostalgic. 50’s flavor without being cartoonish about it. It is a style I’d never worn but one that suits me to a T.  » Read more

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Obscurantista, Friend Recruiter

Occasionally, I wonder if I belong on “the scene,” curious because I regularly go to parties and events and have even toyed with the idea of teaching a class or two – and then after rejecting or ignoring a few dozen advances, I start to ask myself: Am I in the right place? Or is the scene better left to people who are still looking for play partners,  » Read more

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That Voodoo That We Do So Well

I had a professor back in the day who used to say, “The poetry isn’t in the words. It’s everything in between the words.” And I believe poetry is what happens inside the reader as a result of the piece.

Poetry is the finesse, the connotations we derive, the emotional and intellectual resonance that results from the words that are read or spoken.  » Read more

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