Nobody’s Pizza Chef

pizza being made

On the rare occasions that I happen to talk to vanilla people about BDSM, it’s always quite eye opening.  One thing I hear a lot is they could see themselves enjoying giving such a beating or doling out orders, that it seems fun. But getting a beating or following orders…? Dream on, Pokemon.  » Read more

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“But what if they test positive?”

zebra

“But aren’t you worried about diseases?”

It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option.

Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are,  » Read more

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The Taxonomy of Cacti, or Poly Curiosity Killed the Cat’s Social Life

flowering cactus with pretty pink blooms
Image by Michal Mañas / CC BY

It’s fairly easy to generate a plethora of positive-sounding reasons why someone might be a good fit for polyamory. You could be a person who loves freely, without boundaries, secure, set on enriching your own life and as many other lives as possible through unique personal connections, intent on having myriad intense life experiences.

Me?  » Read more

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That’s How You Get Smooth Jazz

“I really wish people would be more open about their kinks,” he said. “I think kinks should be considered normal and not so taboo.”

Except, for me at least, that’s the whole point.

For one, my kinks involve lots of shame, so maybe I’m not the most impartial judge. Now I’m not about to advocate for society to go on a witch hunt after all would-be intrepid sexplorers as the fundamentalist fringes (and fringe-adjacent folks when they get wrapped up in their own insecurities and confusion) are so wont to do.  » Read more

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What the Cuck

He is out on a date with her. I’ve had a glass of wine, done some writing. We’ve done this dance before. He’s doing his thing, I’m doing mine. So far, so good.

But then I look at the clock, and it’s somehow both earlier and later than I think it is. I have passed as much time as is effortless,  » Read more

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