“But what if they test positive?”

zebra

“But aren’t you worried about diseases?”

It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option.

Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are,  » Read more

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The Taxonomy of Cacti, or Poly Curiosity Killed the Cat’s Social Life

flowering cactus with pretty pink blooms
Image by Michal Mañas / CC BY

It’s fairly easy to generate a plethora of positive-sounding reasons why someone might be a good fit for polyamory. You could be a person who loves freely, without boundaries, secure, set on enriching your own life and as many other lives as possible through unique personal connections, intent on having myriad intense life experiences.

Me?  » Read more

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That’s How You Get Smooth Jazz

“I really wish people would be more open about their kinks,” he said. “I think kinks should be considered normal and not so taboo.”

Except, for me at least, that’s the whole point.

For one, my kinks involve lots of shame, so maybe I’m not the most impartial judge. Now I’m not about to advocate for society to go on a witch hunt after all would-be intrepid sexplorers as the fundamentalist fringes (and fringe-adjacent folks when they get wrapped up in their own insecurities and confusion) are so wont to do.  » Read more

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What the Cuck

He is out on a date with her. I’ve had a glass of wine, done some writing. We’ve done this dance before. He’s doing his thing, I’m doing mine. So far, so good.

But then I look at the clock, and it’s somehow both earlier and later than I think it is. I have passed as much time as is effortless,  » Read more

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Brad and Janet

Brad and Janet from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Meet Brad and Janet, two young virgins in love. The very epitome of wholesomeness. Not one stray hair out of place.

They mean well, they really do. They’ve colored within the lines all of their lives, gone through the recommended motions, and one night, their car breaks down, and they find themselves surrounded by perverts.  » Read more

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Notes towards “Diary of a Love Slave”

12/23/13

Nothing feels better than letting go, and when I say letting go, I mean completely letting go, letting responsibility bleed from you as effortlessly as losing consciousness when your head hits the pillow. Until I met him, I’d had little opportunity to do that for any length of time.

Going limp requires a high level of security and complete trust in the person holding the reins.  » Read more

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Mission Almost Accomplished

Four weeks ’til graduation.

It’s quite odd to be this close to completing what has been the most elaborate and involved order from Skyspook so far, finishing my bachelor’s degree, long delayed by life. By all accounts, I’ve done extremely well. I’m actually earning two bachelor’s degrees (picked up a second major after my first year and ran with it) and will graduate summa cum laude (dirty-sounding Latin for highest honors).  » Read more

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