8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

a fantasy portrait of a woman peering through water or clouds with a contemplative look on her face with both hands placed on her head
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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Fet Lag: The Time Between Objectification and Respect

a shot of an airport waiting area
Image by Michiel G / CC BY

I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.

When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).

These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!),  » Read more

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Voyeurism as Exposure Therapy: How Watching Kink Scenes Made Polyamory Easier for Me

a closeup of the face of an orange and white cat that is hiding in the grass
Image by Roman Till / CC BY

I’m watching them from across the room, leaning against the wall. Trying to be as unobtrusive as I can, so that I don’t spoil their energy. I’ve positioned myself so that there’s another scene partially obscuring my view: A woman pressed up against a St. Andrew’s cross, her partner flogging her back in time to the music filtering into the room.  » Read more

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