The Kind of Exhibitionism I’ve Grown Leery Of

an ink drawing of an egg-shaped half-human, half-panda kind of creature wearing a pair of underpants patterned with the same creature all over them
Image by Laura Megumi Thatcher / CC BY

I’ve been on the kink scene formally for about a decade now. And overall, it’s been a very positive experience. I’ve developed relationships (friendly, romantic, and otherwise) that are incredibly important to me. More intimate than most of the ones I’ve forged in the vanilla world. And yet, being on the kink scene hasn’t been without its difficulties.  » Read more

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8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

a fantasy portrait of a woman peering through water or clouds with a contemplative look on her face with both hands placed on her head
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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Fet Lag: The Time Between Objectification and Respect

a shot of an airport waiting area
Image by Michiel G / CC BY

I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.

When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).

These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!),  » Read more

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Voyeurism as Exposure Therapy: How Watching Kink Scenes Made Polyamory Easier for Me

a closeup of the face of an orange and white cat that is hiding in the grass
Image by Roman Till / CC BY

I’m watching them from across the room, leaning against the wall. Trying to be as unobtrusive as I can, so that I don’t spoil their energy. I’ve positioned myself so that there’s another scene partially obscuring my view: A woman pressed up against a St. Andrew’s cross, her partner flogging her back in time to the music filtering into the room.  » Read more

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