“You know,” I say, “I feel like I’ve been training for lockdown for years and years.”
“Oh?” he replies.
I nod. “All that delayed gratification kink work I’ve been doing is really coming in handy.”
He laughs, but I explain that I’m not joking. Not really. It’s true that a lot I’ve wanted to do has gone on hold for what will likely be a long while yet (and has been about seven months on hold so far). » Read more
I never know quite where you stand, and that’s why I’m so into you.
Your attention and affection aren’t readily available. Instead, they’re highly conditional. And those conditions are ever-changing, hidden from the rest of the world.
You play a game whose rules aren’t published anywhere. Because they fluctuate like Fluxx or Calvinball. » Read more
Over a decade ago, I plunged onto the kink scene. Once I make up my mind to pursue something, I let go exuberantly, some might say recklessly.
I tend to be rather cautious when I’m considering doing something new. I’m known to research and interview people and to spend quite a while thinking over the issues in question before pursuing it. » Read more
I can remember the first time I ever heard the term “play partner.” I had just started seeing a new girlfriend, a doctor with a decidedly kinky streak.
She used it to refer to her husband’s best friend. She called this guy her play partner.
In a lot of ways, this kinky doctor was my entry point into BDSM. » Read more
Have you ever met someone who is fantastic at first? There’s something fun and shiny about them.
Maybe they’re things that you’re missing in the rest of your life. That you don’t know anybody else who does well. Or can engage with you on that particular level.
Maybe these aspects are so shiny that you are quick to forgive many things that should have given you cause for concern. » Read more
I’ve been meaning to finish this particular post for a while, but I’ve held off.
This is primarily because I try very hard to not reward behavior that I don’t want to see again. The reason for this is simple. It’s essentially the closest thing to a fundamental rule in psychology: What you reward, » Read more
It’s a funny thing, being a kinkster. Because the kink scene brings people together who might otherwise never meet. I know people from every walk of life. Baristas who are just graduating from college and still living with their parents. Middle aged doctors, lawyers, executives. Retired small business owners. Everyone in between.
And I’ve reliably found that it’s how many friends I have — » Read more
I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”
Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.
The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale, » Read more
I’ve been struggling with something for a while now and need advice and support from someone who might understand.
Here’s the situation: I’m married to a vanilla guy I love a lot. He knows I’m a sub and that I have a Domme. I’ve been with my Domme for several years. » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. It’s my favorite one. Thank you for writing every day, for being there. I’ve read that you struggle with confidence, but you don’t need to. Never stop writing!
I discovered you through my friends on the kink scene (who call you “Page the sage” » Read more