For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

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Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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I Get Good at Silence Around Certain People, But I Never Have Learned to Enjoy It

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Image by julieindisguise / CC BY

Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I grew up in a rural area in a highly religious family with very traditional conservative ideas of what gender roles should be.

But for me, it’s always there somewhere in my psyche.

Even as I grew up, moved away, and found a social group with different ideas about sex,  » Read more

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If You Leave a Note Before You Go Out, Will They Still Yell At You When You Get Home?

an invisible car in the style of Wonder Woman's invisible jet
Image by Steve Jurvetson / CC BY

It was something I was told a thousand times growing up. If you’re going to go out, leave a note.

By my mother when I was staying at my parents’ house. But not just her and not just there. Everywhere. At all the other places I stayed. Friends’ houses. With other relatives.  » Read more

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I’d Been Dreaming of Home an Awfully Long Time, But I’m Glad It Took a While to Find It

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Image by cattan2011 / CC BY

Jealousy is in some measure just and reasonable, since it merely aims at keeping something that belongs to us or we think belongs to us, whereas envy is a frenzy that cannot bear anything that belongs to others.

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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I was alone a lot when I was growing up.  » Read more

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PQ 25.3 — Who in my life is important for me to be able to talk to about my relationships? Whom do I think it’s important for my partners to meet?

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 25.3 — Who in my life is important for me to be able to talk to about my relationships? Whom do I think it’s important for my partners to meet?

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“You know,” my mother says. “I really wish your brother would bring one of his girls home.”

“I guess he’s not at an emotional place where he wants to do that,”  » Read more

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I Don’t Get Over Things by Forgetting Them. I Do It by Remembering & Making Sense of Them.

It's an artist's rendition of Miles Davis, a jazz musician with shades on, holding a trumpet
Image by Shahab Shakib Passand / CC BY

“I’m not sure why people keep saying my pieces are painful to read,” I say to Justin. “I mean, it’s usually a part of a ‘but I love them’ kind of comment. But yeah, they’re always saying they’re painful. And I’m not sure why.”

“It makes them think about themselves and their lives,”  » Read more

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