Any Particular Person: On Growing Up Catering to Difficult People

a close up of piano keys, bathed in red light
Image by Juan Antonio Segal / CC BY

Born with a Target on My Back

I wasn’t allowed to be particular.

Growing up, only two people in my family were allowed to be particular. One was my sister Alice. Her default state was disgust. Dismay.

Alice was nasty. Particular. And catered to. She was consulted first on where she wanted to go whenever the family went out to eat.  » Read more

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If You Ever Want to Piss Someone Off, Tell Them They’re Not Trying

a young boy on a beach with a plastic shovel full of sand. his hand is thrown back and his eyes are closed as though he is trying very hard and expending a lot of effort
Image by popofatticus / CC BY

Unless what you’re trying to do is piss someone off or hurt their feelings, whatever you do, don’t tell them, “You didn’t even try.”

Because that’s not something you can possibly know.

Maybe you don’t like the results.

Maybe you’re dissatisfied.

And maybe you would have done a better job if you were in their shoes (but then again,  » Read more

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PQ 6.5 — Do I look for hidden meanings in other people’s words? Do I bury my real meaning?

a crystal ball, in which there is a view of a coastal scene, including a vibrantly blue sky
Image by Pai Shih / CC BY

PQ 6.5 — Do I look for hidden meanings in other people’s words? Do I bury my real meaning?

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She is the most beautiful woman in the world. We’re whizzing down the road. A rural route. Trees rush by. She’s in the driver’s seat, like always. Her long black hair glints in the sun.  » Read more

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Identity Negotation

When I was growing up, my mom always used to say, “You’re not weird. You just want to be that way.”

It’s interesting – and something that I think about often. Why is it so easy to dismiss what another person wants to be? What makes some people so sure that they know another person better than that person knows themselves?  » Read more

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