Voyeurism as Exposure Therapy: How Watching Kink Scenes Made Polyamory Easier for Me

a closeup of the face of an orange and white cat that is hiding in the grass
Image by Roman Till / CC BY

I’m watching them from across the room, leaning against the wall. Trying to be as unobtrusive as I can, so that I don’t spoil their energy. I’ve positioned myself so that there’s another scene partially obscuring my view: A woman pressed up against a St. Andrew’s cross, her partner flogging her back in time to the music filtering into the room.  » Read more

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Polyamory and Power Exchange: Negotiating From the Bottom

2 dogs wrestling: a white dog on top, a beagle on the bottom who has a surprised expression on its face
Image by walkadog / CC BY

Negotiating boundaries and setting expectations are both crucial in polyamory. Being polyamorous involves moving away from The Standard Romantic Relationship Script, in which society largely defines expectations and rules in relationships. And instead, in polyamory it’s vital to look to the people within the relationship to define and develop what those expectations should be. I’ve written previously about  best practices for negotiating relationship agreements,   » Read more

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Love in the Hate Place, Hate in the Love Place

black and white photo of a hand and 5 square blocks of tofu
Image by Robert Couse-Baker / CC BY

“Awww,” Skyspook said. “You loooove it.”

“Sure, I love it… in my hate place.”

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Skyspook often describes his own process of learning how to communicate in relationships (nonromantic and romantic, poly, mono, or otherwise) as going vegan with his emotions.

What he means by this is that he’s as upfront and as authentic about his feelings as possible,  » Read more

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