Domestic Service

As I’m sweeping the floor, I find myself thinking of last night, how you grabbed my hair as I sucked you off and thrust until you came, wild with desire. You’d been so gentle until that moment, polite. I run the thought over in my head, polishing it like a stone, lording over the fact that I’ve learned your body well enough to draw out your animal instincts,  » Read more

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Discretion/Cowardice?

“Before you treat me, I need to make sure you’re comfortable with a few things.”

“Such as?”

“I’m part of the local kink community. I’m really into it. It’s important to me.”

“Kink community?” The look on my therapist’s face is one of sheer confusion.

I sigh.  » Read more

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About the Other Night

The spirit is the energy that moves between us, one to the other. When we struggle, fight, collapse together, we unearth our depths. I am actually located at the depth to which I attach to myself. This is where I attach to you, interlocking seamlessly. We can imagine it as a projection, if we stop to imagine all those details that were never explained,  » Read more

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Acceptance is Scary

“Thank you,” I gasp, collapsing beside him on the bed.

He raises an eyebrow, even though his face is flooded with afterglow. “Thank you.”

It is a dream to be so savored, to have my perversion welcomed, to sleep bundled by warm arms, to be asked what’s wrong, invited to discuss my troubles,  » Read more

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Wish List

Our psychological and emotional positions in the sadomasochist realm firmly established, I’d broached the topic of D/s. I wanted to know where we were going.

“Well, what do you want?” he asked me.

It was a simple question, but for some reason I found myself unable to answer him. I find this to be the case when I care too much about what I’m about to say—I clam up,  » Read more

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Us

I’ve loved you a season now.

Somehow your eyes are growing softer and brighter with time and the colors around us more vibrant.

This new us is one where I know myself, where I stay intact, not bled into the fabric of “the couple.” I see myself, I see you –  » Read more

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sexual compass

Sexual Orientation

I am attracted to people in general. I don’t have a preference when it comes to gonads.

There is also a wide range to what I’m attracted to in terms of secondary sex characteristics and physical attributes and that I lack clear preferences to those as well (height, degree of body hair,  » Read more

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It came from the playground…?

We were all children at one point.

The last few days, I’ve been considering the idea that D/s mimics a lot of social interplay in childhood before we are properly “socialized.” Without getting into gory and depressing details, sexual humiliation is a central part of my psyche and formative sexual experiences simply from having been the first girl in my class to develop and having a strict French Canadian Catholic upbringing.  » Read more

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“Useful”

Why do I crave what many others would consider abuse?

Is it for the pain?

The freedom from my own identity that comes from reflexive self-subversion?

Is it for the attention?

Is it to be useful?

Useful. That word resonates with me.

I,  » Read more

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