I’ve been doing a lot of reading over the last few months, including lots of your writings, and the more I read on the topic of poly, the more it has started making sense to me.
When I first joined FetLife and met my Dom, I thought I was 100% monogamous. » Read more
I need your advice. My girlfriend who is not out as kinky or poly with a Christian faith based family is scheduled to have MAJOR surgery. Her family (elderly Mother & two young adult daughters) will be in town for her surgery and recovery for a few weeks. » Read more
Stealy McGrabbypants, Experienced Master
Hi pretty, how are you doing? Experienced master is here and I’d like you to be mine if you don’t mind……
I read the message, shake my head, and think: Okay, dude, what kind of slave just rando jumps ship when some guy PMs them? » Read more
Negotiating boundaries and setting expectations are both crucial in polyamory. Being polyamorous involves moving away from The Standard Romantic Relationship Script, in which society largely defines expectations and rules in relationships. And instead, in polyamory it’s vital to look to the people within the relationship to define and develop what those expectations should be. I’ve written previously about best practices for negotiating relationship agreements, » Read more
“Awww,” Skyspook said. “You loooove it.”
“Sure, I love it… in my hate place.”
Skyspook often describes his own process of learning how to communicate in relationships (nonromantic and romantic, poly, mono, or otherwise) as going vegan with his emotions.
What he means by this is that he’s as upfront and as authentic about his feelings as possible, » Read more
The brief moment between the swing and the sting of the dressage whip spans eons. Sometimes he’s a bastard and swings it so I’ll hear it and think the pain is coming, just so he can watch me wince. Like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown at the last second.
But not this time. » Read more
On the rare occasions that I happen to talk to vanilla people about BDSM, it’s always quite eye opening. One thing I hear a lot is they could see themselves enjoying giving such a beating or doling out orders, that it seems fun. But getting a beating or following orders…? Dream on, Pokemon. » Read more
Photo by tuncaycoskun / CC BY
It’s a funny thing, never feeling like you’re enough.
“I know I’ll lose you eventually,” I told my husband Skyspook when we first started dating, “but things are wonderful now, so I’m just going to enjoy you while I have you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he told me. » Read more
“I really wish people would be more open about their kinks,” he said. “I think kinks should be considered normal and not so taboo.”
Except, for me at least, that’s the whole point.
For one, my kinks involve lots of shame, so maybe I’m not the most impartial judge. Now I’m not about to advocate for society to go on a witch hunt after all would-be intrepid sexplorers as the fundamentalist fringes (and fringe-adjacent folks when they get wrapped up in their own insecurities and confusion) are so wont to do. » Read more
I appear confident, but under the surface I’m afraid.
Disappointment is a persistent low-grade stinging in my chest, churning slowly, like a fist clenching in a space where it doesn’t quite fit.
I fear I always screw things up with him. I never say the right things. How is it that I’ve worked all these years to be pleasing to men, » Read more