There Are No Magic Words

an abstract image of red swirls with 3 starbursts

“I should never have used that word,” I said. “The L word. I thought nothing of it, but they totally got the wrong idea.”

“Oh, but it’s YOU!” she said.

“I know,” I agreed.

“Anyone who knows you, well… they know you say that to everybody. There’s a different way that you act when you’re in love with someone.  » Read more

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Selfishly Helping

2 kittens snuggling

It’s a funny thing… over the years, I have acted as a sounding board and supportive listener for a very large number of people. And I’ll admit it hasn’t always been easy – sometimes the timing is very inconvenient, sometimes you have empathy overload and feel an incredible amount of their pain, and sometimes you’re put in awkward spots where people have confided in you about each other,  » Read more

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“But what if they test positive?”

zebra

“But aren’t you worried about diseases?”

It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option.

Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are,  » Read more

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Making Excuses Vs. Offering an Explanation

It seems like I spend 90% of my life struggling with one nuance or another.

The latest has been trying to differentiate between what constitutes “making excuses” vs. “offering an explanation.”

I set this question out to some of my friends. They overwhelmingly stressed that timing was a key factor (people need a while to cool down and get out of the hotly negative feeling place),  » Read more

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