PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

3 red buckets hanging on a wall, each bucket says "fire" on it
Image by Adele Prince / CC BY

PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)

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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory —  » Read more

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You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive

a piece of looseleaf paper that says in cursive "hegel. merde." with a pen lying next to it
Image by Margherita Puzzo / CC BY

I Try Smiling

“You get what you expect,” the instructor says.

It’s my first day of community college. We’re sitting in a small room with desks that are at least 30 years old. Mine has vaguely letter-like shapes carved into it. What it says is illegible. It’s a pity, really.  I want somewhere to put my eyes because my anxiety is in rare form.  » Read more

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Truth Drip: Titrating How Much We Share and When

an iv in the hospital
Image by marissa anderson / CC BY

It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.

On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little.  » Read more

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There Are No Magic Words

an abstract image of red swirls with 3 starbursts

“I should never have used that word,” I said. “The L word. I thought nothing of it, but they totally got the wrong idea.”

“Oh, but it’s YOU!” she said.

“I know,” I agreed.

“Anyone who knows you, well… they know you say that to everybody. There’s a different way that you act when you’re in love with someone.  » Read more

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