I’m Communicosexual and Communicoromantic. Are You?

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Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing

Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation

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When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks.  » Read more

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The Conversations You Have When You’re Semi-Demisexual

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Image by Prabhakar Banerjee / CC BY

He takes a while to get to know people before he feels comfortable with them. And when he does, he doesn’t want to jump right into bed. He wants to make sure you’re both comfortable with one another. That there’s an emotional connection first.

He’s had it up to here with a culture that links sex and disrespect.  » Read more

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Concept Creep, Or “You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

a lego figure of Inigo Montoya, a character from The Princess Bride
Image by Caleb Wagoner / CC BY

Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.

Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep.  » Read more

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When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock

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In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict,  » Read more

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A Sigh Can Set Off a Conflict As Easily as the Words We Choose to Say

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I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.

He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.

Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist,  » Read more

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Just Because Communication Is Direct, That Doesn’t Mean It Has to Be Harsh

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A little while ago, I published a piece called “My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication.” In that essay, I talk about the reasons why I have such a distaste for playing games with people when it comes to communication. I’m not a big fan of passive-aggression, guessing games in which one person is expected to mind-read the other’s thoughts,  » Read more

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My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication

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Image by Rachael Towne / CC BY

It’s been decades, but I still vividly remember my old elementary school. It was a brick building. Standing outside at recess, I’d often stare at those walls,  fascinated by the flaws in the blocks, the cracks and places where they were uneven. I was generally a talkative kid and often very social but occasionally I’d get overwhelmed.  » Read more

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