I love the blog! Been reading it for a while. I’ve been learning more about polyamory the last few years, and I’ve realised that I’m probably polyamorous. Trouble is I’m in a relationship with a woman who is very monogamous. I would love to be able to explore all the love I feel, » Read more
“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
I look at my phone when we pull into port. » Read more
“I’m always doing everything for everyone else,” she says. “And where does it get me?”
I’m taken aback. I’m not sure where this is coming from. She’s got good qualities, but she’s far from anybody’s whipping boy. If anything, she’s more selfish than most.
“To hell with what they think,” she says, » Read more
“There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it. » Read more
“I get really uncomfortable when I’m not telling somebody something,” CC says. “It’s a lie. A lie of omission.”
And it’s at that moment I realize that I’m a liar. That we all are.
Because we think in clusters and long strands of ideas. But we speak in single bits. Discrete nodes. » Read more
“I have to go soon,” I tell Ro, glancing at the clock on her microwave.
She nods. “I had a feeling. We talked away our time again.”
It’s a repeat problem we have. Dinner and drinks and conversation monopolize our dates. Before we know it, I have to drive home. No time for sex. » Read more
In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.
I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”). » Read more
PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?
When Someone “Makes” Us Feel Something
It’s very common to hear people say that someone “made” them feel something.
“She made me feel bad.”
“You make me so unhappy.”
“He makes me so frustrated.” » Read more
Check-Ins and the Threat of Concern Trolling
“So you check in with your partners about stuff before you do it?”
“Sure do,” I say. “My current agreement doesn’t require me to, but I think it’s not a bad practice to give people a heads up. Y’know, considerate.”
“Okay. So let’s say you want to date someone. » Read more
PQ 7.7 — What do I do to make sure it’s safe for my partners to communicate with me, and to let them know it’s safe?
The issue at the heart of today’s question is near and dear to my heart. As I wrote in PQ 4.5, » Read more