As long-time readers know, on the weekends I run a feature called Psyched for the Weekend. Basically, I do brief takes on new studies or old psychological concepts I find interesting.
At the date of this writing, there are 142 articles in that series. Wow.
As with all my essays, » Read more
I used to be a chronic apologizer.
Ask anyone who knew me back in the day. The words “I’m sorry” were a reflex. I said them more than just about any other phrase.
Because I was sorry. I forever saw how I made little mistakes. Got in people’s way. » Read more
A month ago, I published an essay called “Not All Romantic Gestures Look the Same,” in which I revealed something a little strange I do out of love:
My partner is definitely not a morning person. He needs a bit of time to warm up before he’s ready to people. » Read more
Interrupting. Ahhh… now, there’s a loaded topic.
I shudder involuntarily whenever the subject is broached. Not because I worry about getting interrupted. I don’t.
I have the other sort of baggage — where I worry I’m going to anger someone because I’ve inadvertently interrupted them.
What’s interesting is that I haven’t universally gotten this feedback from everyone I’ve known or anything. » Read more
I’ve been meaning to cover this topic on the blog for a while. As some of you know, I write essays fairly frequently that deal with apologies. While research has shown that people are generally quite unforgiving (a finding I find personally depressing, as people are also imperfect and mess up, » Read more
“How could you not know I was upset with you?” I asked him, boggling. “How could you possibly have thought that trip went well? We fought the whole time.”
“We did not fight,” he replied.
I found myself speechless out of shock. “I cried and yelled. You argued and yelled back, » Read more
I published an essay here recently that compared a rough spot in an otherwise happy relationship to a freak cold day in a warm climate:
I’ve had a lot of long-term relationships. Some of them were rocky, some were much more even keel.
Nevertheless, all of them had conflict every once in a while. » Read more
Since I’ve studied linguistics and particularly have enjoyed psycholinguistics (a field of study sometimes also known as the psychology of language), I am not one of those people who fly around everywhere correcting everyone else’s grammar.
I’m instead more interested in how language is used in everyday life (whether or not that lines up with the correct way to structure communication). » Read more
I’ve been in a lot of relationships at this point. Some of them were marked by good conflict resolution and others… well, they really, really weren’t.
I’ve often said to friends that a good apology means the world to me. That for me it’s often less about there never being conflict in the first place and more about being with someone who apologizes well when things go off-track. » Read more
Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I grew up in a rural area in a highly religious family with very traditional conservative ideas of what gender roles should be.
But for me, it’s always there somewhere in my psyche.
Even as I grew up, moved away, and found a social group with different ideas about sex, » Read more