While part of me lashes out and says, “Well, why can’t we talk more about things that matter?” kindly, authentically, without ego — I also recognize that this level of vulnerability could be exhausting and terrifying for a lot of people.
It’s something folks who are trying to defend hurtful “jokes” throw out as a quick defense. “You took that the wrong way. Don’t be so sensitive. Can’t you take a joke?”
It’s hard to solve complex problems if you’re upset. But people think you’re not taking something seriously if you’re not upset. Mindfulness made me seem shady in times of conflict.
“I’m sorry for wasting your time,” she says, without saying it. “I know that I’m not worth listening to, so I’m going to say this as quickly as possible. Because it’s eating me up inside. But don’t hate me. Please, I can’t bear it if you hate me.”
At this point, we’ve spent a good hour or two chatting about it. There’s a big interpersonal conflict between two friends of ours. And we’re