Ways to Bridge the Gap If Your Partner’s Top Love Language Is Words of Affirmation & Yours Isn’t

a 7 series of dialogue balloons. Their colors, left to right: kelly green, spring green, yellow, orange, purple, dark purple, blue
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Hi Page!

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.

I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing.  » Read more

Continue Reading

I’m Communicosexual and Communicoromantic. Are You?

two stick figures with overlapping speech bubbles
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing

Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation

*

When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks.  » Read more

Continue Reading

The Conversations You Have When You’re Semi-Demisexual

a photo of a half-moon
Image by Prabhakar Banerjee / CC BY

He takes a while to get to know people before he feels comfortable with them. And when he does, he doesn’t want to jump right into bed. He wants to make sure you’re both comfortable with one another. That there’s an emotional connection first.

He’s had it up to here with a culture that links sex and disrespect.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Concept Creep, Or “You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

a lego figure of Inigo Montoya, a character from The Princess Bride
Image by Caleb Wagoner / CC BY

Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.

Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep.  » Read more

Continue Reading

When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock

a gray textured rock face
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict,  » Read more

Continue Reading

A Sigh Can Set Off a Conflict As Easily as the Words We Choose to Say

a bunch of darts stuck in a dart board
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.

He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.

Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist,  » Read more

Continue Reading