How to Follow Your Gut Ethically

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Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

Every so often, an unpleasant cycle repeats. Someone new hits my local kink and/or poly circles, someone that I’ll meet and instantly have a bad feeling about.

Exactly why I’ll get that hinky feeling will change each time. Maybe this new person is a little too insistent and seems prone to pushing past people’s non-sexual boundaries.  » Read more

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When You’re Good at Providing Reassurance, Some People Don’t Even Know You’re Doing It

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Image by Renee Grayson / CC BY

“I really worry about you,” she said. “You’re so insecure. So in need of reassurance. So weak.”

I blinked my eyes twice in slow motion, feeling a wave of shock wash over me. True, I’ve always been a sensitive person. This wasn’t the first time in my life someone had said something like this to me.  » Read more

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This Yankee Needs to Find Her Yeehaw… and Soon

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Image by Marco Verch / CC BY

We’re stopped at a Subway in Kentucky. On our way to Georgia, to a large conference called Frolicon, due to land later that evening.

My husband, who grew up in rural Michigan, is suddenly talking like a cowboy. “Yes, ma’am, no ma’am, thank you kindly.” It’s appropriate given the context but jarring. He code switches like it’s no big deal.  » Read more

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Ways to Bridge the Gap If Your Partner’s Top Love Language Is Words of Affirmation & Yours Isn’t

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Hi Page!

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.

I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing.  » Read more

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I’m Communicosexual and Communicoromantic. Are You?

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing

Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation

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When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks.  » Read more

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The Conversations You Have When You’re Semi-Demisexual

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Image by Prabhakar Banerjee / CC BY

He takes a while to get to know people before he feels comfortable with them. And when he does, he doesn’t want to jump right into bed. He wants to make sure you’re both comfortable with one another. That there’s an emotional connection first.

He’s had it up to here with a culture that links sex and disrespect.  » Read more

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Concept Creep, Or “You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

a lego figure of Inigo Montoya, a character from The Princess Bride
Image by Caleb Wagoner / CC BY

Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.

Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep.  » Read more

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