PQ 7.2 — What can I do to be more direct in my communication?
The process of moving from an indirect style to a direct style of expressing yourself can feel scary and at times completely overwhelming. But it’s important work. While being indirect can feel more comfortable (especially if we’re used to it), » Read more
PQ 7.1 — How do I directly ask for what I need?
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
For the longest time, the idea of asking for what I needed directly? » Read more
PQ 6.7 — In what ways do I actively listen to my partners?
“In order to be loved, we have to love, which means we have to understand.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.” » Read more
PQ 6.5 — Do I look for hidden meanings in other people’s words? Do I bury my real meaning?
She is the most beautiful woman in the world. We’re whizzing down the road. A rural route. Trees rush by. She’s in the driver’s seat, like always. Her long black hair glints in the sun. » Read more
PQ 6.4 — Do I communicate passively or directly?
I am as direct as I can reasonably be.
Direct communication seems like a simple matter — and it’s definitely something to strive for. After all, there’s little more frustrating than talking with someone who expects you to mind read. » Read more
PQ 6.3 — If my partners have a problem with someone else’s behavior, do I encourage them to bring it up with that person?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been that person others feel safe telling things to.
It can have its benefits. » Read more
PQ 6.1 — Do I use words the same way my partners do? Do I often find myself in discussions about the meanings of words?
“When I think about it, it just makes me mad,” I say to Skyspook.
We’re sitting in a food court. One of those travel plazas. » Read more
“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”
As I wrote in a previous post, there are worse things than conflict, including perpetually running away from one you need to address. One commenter on that piece made a great observation: “Honesty and conflict resolution are so much easier in theory than in practice.” » Read more
Harassing a Friend to Write Guest Blog Posts, Like Always
“Love the site,” she says.
Thanks.” I smile. “You should write a guest blog post for us.”
“You’d add a lot. I bet people would like your perspective,” I say.
“I could never do that.” » Read more
PQ 5.9 — How do I respond to criticism from people close to me?
I’d love to say that I respond with textbook emotional maturity when I’m criticized by those closest to me. But I don’t.
I take solace in knowing that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. » Read more