PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?

A pie chart. Above the pie chart, it reads "Who is responsible?" The two choices are "Them" and "us." "Them" takes up the vast majority of the pie chart. "Us" is only a small sliver.
Image by Sean MacEntee / CC BY

PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?

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When Someone “Makes” Us Feel Something

It’s very common to hear people say that someone “made” them feel something.

“She made me feel bad.”

“You make me so unhappy.”

“He makes me so frustrated.”  » Read more

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Martin Under the Bridge: Polyamory, Check-Ins, and Concern Trolling

A weasel sitting on a stick with a wire wrapped around it, at the Bering Land Bridge.
Image by Bering Land Bridge National Preserve / CC BY

Check-Ins and the Threat of Concern Trolling

“So you check in with your partners about stuff before you do it?”

“Sure do,” I say. “My current agreement doesn’t require me to, but I think it’s not a bad practice to give people a heads up. Y’know, considerate.”

“Okay. So let’s say you want to date someone.  » Read more

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PQ 7.4 — Do I perceive criticism in my partner’s statements even if they aren’t directly critical?

a black and white photo of a D20 (20-sided die) with the 1 pointing up, aka a "critical miss"
Image by Scott Ogle / CC BY

PQ 7.4 — Do I perceive criticism in my partner’s statements even if they aren’t directly critical?

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There’s always something to work on in a relationship. Because it doesn’t matter how perfectly the blinding light of New Relationship Energy washes over the creases and cracks like a giant flashbulb.

Eventually,  » Read more

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Assertiveness as Honesty Exchange: Sender to Receiver and Back Again

the recycling symbol (3 areas all pointing towards one another, forming a triangle) with white arrows on a green background
Image by Nicolas Raymond / CC BY

When many folks think of assertiveness, they think of sender skills. An assertive person is one who communicates their thoughts and feelings confidently. Openly.

And while this is true, it’s not the entire picture. In practice, the most difficult part of assertive communication is the receiver half.

Because an assertive communicator is not only open to speaking their own truths —  » Read more

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