Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today: » Read more
Why Don’t I Communicate More?
“You just need to have open, honest communication.”
The people who originally introduced me to polyamory explained it to me that way. It was the closest thing we had to a firm, fast rule. The one bit of instruction that was consistently provided.
In every scenario, it was said, you couldn’t go wrong with open, » Read more
Fairly frequently, I’ll write articles describing a relationship situation where something changes, and it puts the people in the relationship into a difficult situation (here’s a recent example).
And invariably, whenever I write one of these pieces, I’ll get a few comments that go a little something like this:
“If everyone knew there were problems, » Read more
“You won’t hate me if I sit next to you at dinner, will you?” she asks me.
“Of course not,” I say. It’ll stick out in my memory for a long time as an odd question because there’s actually nowhere else for her to sit, unless she sits at a table across the restaurant. » Read more
It’s Sunday morning. I’m wearing sweatpants, a T-shirt I don’t care about, and a head wrap that holds my hair out of my face. It’s not glamorous, but it’s functional. I’m dressed that way because I’ve been cleaning. Nothing major but the kind of light cleaning that doesn’t wait for a weekday to be done. » Read more
As it happens, I was bopping around the Internet the other day, not exactly minding my own business but instead throwing open every door I came across and rifling through for treasures, a bit like a video game protagonist looking for stray gold coins in NPC closets. You know, what people used to call “surfing the web.” » Read more
After a protracted period of soul searching and agonizing, I decided to share my feelings with him. I thought about how to phrase it. And then I went for it.
And in response he offered, “For one, you feel like that with me, too, and still isn’t true there. For two, not much I could help with except to say that most people like that you’re a bit pushy with your feelings. » Read more
As I wrote in a recent post, I recently moved cross country and have discovered that in spite of my assumption that I’d rush out and get socially connected ASAP that I am very introverted in my new home.
It’s a sharp 180 from my normal way of relating. » Read more
The more you know about bias and how deeply it’s entrenched in our brains, the more it becomes truly difficult to trust other people. How they will treat us. If what they say to us is true…
Unfortunately, we’re all capable of saying untrue things, regardless of any moral commitment to truthfulness. Contrary to what a lot of people think, » Read more
“I don’t know that we communicate well,” I say to him.
“This is news to me,” he replies.
“Really,” he says. “I love talking to you.”
“I do, too,” I say. “We have good conversations.”
“But you just…”
I sigh. “Just because we have good conversations doesn’t mean that we communicate well.” » Read more