Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
I ran into a rather cute term a while back: An askhole. What’s an askhole? Well, essentially, it’s what you call a person who asks for your opinion or advice on issues — and then turns around and does the opposite of what you advised.
This is frankly a pretty handy term for me because I’ve run into this a lot. » Read more
“Talk is cheap.”
“Actions speak louder than words.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what they say. I know what everyone says.
But me, I like that cheap stuff. I like being told I’m beautiful, interesting, funny. I love when a lover digs my mind and body — and most important, » Read more
For a very long time, I’ve been extremely irritated by a phenomenon I call the “False Correction”
What is the False Correction? It’s pretty simple. It’s when someone acts like you’re wrong and they’re correcting you about something, but they’re just being more specific than you were. And the general thing you said was true. » Read more
Today’s article is a guest post by frequent Poly.Land contributor, Fluffy (bio and links to their other work below, following this piece). Enjoy!
The Tyranny of Value
Mental Accounting Ain’t so Easy
It can be very easy to start tallying the tasks, the permissions, the debts, the loans, and so on in any relationships. » Read more
I recently wrote a post called “I Wish I Could Send Feelings to You When I Have Them.” Here’s an excerpt:
You can do a lot with words, that’s for sure, but they’re not enough. No matter how hard you try to be careful about what you say, no matter how carefully you select your words, » Read more
You can do a lot with words, that’s for sure, but they’re not enough. No matter how hard you try to be careful about what you say, no matter how carefully you select your words, it’s so easy for them to hit the person you’re talking to the wrong way.
For them to be misinterpreted. » Read more
It is always happening whenever I talk to my mother.
She’ll say something petty and ungrateful. Someone will have done something nice for her. Something that was clearly well intended. Came from a good place. But because the gesture wasn’t perfect, wasn’t what she would have envisioned in the best of all possible worlds, » Read more
I used to be a big believer in a cardinal relationship rule: Never go to bed angry.
The idea of this was that if you get into a relationship argument, no matter the time of day, you should resolve your disagreement before you and your loved one retire for the night.
Depending on the time of day, » Read more
I’m not saying I don’t have a mean streak.
I do.
I’m absolutely capable of saying unkind things. Being insulting, cruel.
And when that mean streak is activated, I’ve been known to wound with words. The same mental systems that write love poetry or give grand compliments can easily be turned into a kind of war machinery. » Read more
I don’t want to ever be a person who asks how someone else is doing and walks away before they have time to answer.
If I don’t have time, if I don’t actually want to know, I won’t ask. And if I do ask, I’ll be prepared to sit with the answer, however difficult or convoluted it is. » Read more
