3 Reasons Why I Prefer to Call It Consensual Non-Monogamy

an assortment of 4 various-sized Lego hearts. Their colors: white, red, yellow, blue.
Image by Bill Ward / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about ethical non-monogamy as a way of describing polyamory and other forms of open relationships. I’ve noticed you don’t do that. Instead, you say “consensual non-monogamy.” Why? 

1. Ethics are subjective.

ethical (adjective) – relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these,  » Read more

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“When a Metamour Resents My Existence, I Feel My Compersion Begin to Die”

black and white photo of a cat lying on a blanket
Image by Meagan, Pretty Piper / CC BY

Hi Page,

My compersion appears to be conditional. I’m not ashamed for this. I’m trying to acknowledge it and turn it around. Love shouldn’t be conditional and for me it’s not. So this has been a big pill to swallow. Have you written about this? When a partner’s partner resents your existence and you feel your compersion for them begin to die?  » Read more

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7 Ways to Support People Who Are Estranged From Their Families Over the Holidays

a black and white photo of someone sitting alone at a table
Image by Steve Morris / CC BY

Hi Page, I enjoyed your open letter to your mother. I don’t have a difficult relationship with my own parents, so it was very eye opening to me. I do have friends whose situation is similar to yours though. The holidays are coming up soon, and I’ve heard that they can be a tough time for people estranged from their families.  » Read more

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Love Bombing & Supernormal Stimulus, Redux: Finding the Button Is Only Half of It

It's a stencil painted onto concrete. Within the stenciled image are two bunnies that have a bomb between them with a heart over it
Image by karlnorling / CC BY

I wanted to write to you about your article “The Supernormal Stimulus.” In it, you talk about an approach to optimizing in relationships where you figure out what matters to your partner the most and then you do it. In it, you bring up ways that zoologists were able to trick birds: Geese who think humans are their mothers,  » Read more

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