What Is Functional Monogamy?

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Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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Dear God Is Monogamy Easier When You Stop Shaming Yourself for Crushes

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Image by Alexandre Delbos / CC BY

“I have to thank you for me having sanity,” my monogamous friend Gull says.

“Ooooo,” I say. I lean forward in my chair. This sounds like it’s gonna be good.

“So okay, I’ve been talking to this dude for about six months,” she says. “And the friendship kind of got thrown into close friendship quickly due to stupid stuff from external drama.”  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

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There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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How Bisexual Erasure & Toxic Monogamy Culture Are Linked

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On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:

Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk.   » Read more

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Reasons Why 5 Ambiamorous People Are Functionally Monogamous…At Least For Now

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Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.

Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory,  » Read more

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To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

A venn diagram up above a cityscape. One of the circles says "yes," the other says "no." The overlap between the two is labeled "me."
Image by Terminals & Gates / CC BY

Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.

While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.

Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist.  » Read more

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