I really liked your article “I Wish I Didn’t Feel Like Having Deep Conversations Right Before Bed.” It was relevant to me because I’ve been in both positions. I’ve been the person wanting to talk about something heavy at the wrong time and also the person who just wants to get to sleep already and is annoyed. » Read more
I love your page and have read all of your books. I had a question. I keep seeing people talking about something called an “anchor partner.” I searched here on the site and found a couple of posts that talk about anchor partners but nothing on what the term meant. » Read more
The other day I got a question from a reader in response to my essay on the importance of being around gracious people. This is true all of the time, really, but particularly when you’re in a polyamorous relationship system.
They asked me a question that might seem obvious but hit me rather funny. » Read more
“Are you sure about that?” my partner says. “Because I think you’re biased here.”
“Well,” I say in response, my voice dripping with equal parts defensiveness and smugness, “I may be biased. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“You know,” my partner says, “that reminds me of something a relationship writer once wrote.” » Read more
My partner and I are happily married, and have been doing some relationship introspection. Have you ever come across or heard about a successful married relationship where one partner is polyamorous while the other is on the Ace spectrum?
A few quick clarifications for readers who might want/need them before I answer today’s question:
Ace/ace = shorthand for asexual
allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum and/or not asexual
Personal disclosure: I am allosexual, » Read more
“You write an awful lot about other people, how kind they are to you, and how much you appreciate them. I find myself thinking that I hope you are as kind to them back. I hope you make an effort, too. And I wish you’d write more about what kind of partner you are, because I don’t like wondering about it.” » Read more
Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more
About a year and a half ago, I found myself in a poly relationship. I didn’t get into it under the best circumstances, though.
I had found out that my husband had been exploiting me for a decade and he was really turned on by the idea of me sleeping around, » Read more
Can you learn to be polyamorous? the reader asks.
Yes, you can.
Well, sort of.
Because so much of the work I did in my early days as a polyamorous person wasn’t about learning polyamory but about unlearning what I’d been taught about relationships. » Read more
I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more