Just read one of your Twitter posts where you reference proto-abuse. It’s ringing some kind of flag or bell or what have you with respect to one of my current relationships, where I’m experiencing a lot of conflict right now. Could you expound on that concept? » Read more
I’ve been really enjoying your series of posts on underrepresented identities (asexual, aromantic, demisexual, semi-demi, etc.). It’s been really interesting and eye opening for me.
There was one line that really threw me for a loop though in your piece about aromantic polyamorous people: “Finally, » Read more
I love your blog. You have a really fascinating way of framing topics that never would have occurred to me to even think about. I’m not polyamorous myself. I would say I’m more curious at the moment. This is a relatively new development. Even just a few years ago I would have sworn that I would never be interested in non-monogamy. » Read more
I really appreciated your article “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” It made perfect sense to me because being asexual and being aromantic are very different things. Now it’d be weird if you said there were polyamorous people who were aromantic. That’s not a thing, » Read more
I’m a polyamorous person that keeps ending up in relationships with monogamous people. Then I compromise and feel wrong, unseen, miserable, and wish to stay polyamorous solo. Then it happens again. Why?
This is an interesting question, letter writer. To be perfectly honest, you didn’t give me a lot to work with here. » Read more
A reader wrote in with the following suggestion: How about an article about how to deal with it if your metamour does presents but you don’t?
On the surface, it’s a fairly simple issue. So let’s say that your metamour really wants to give and receive presents. That it’s important to them. » Read more
My wife and I have been together for many years. We opened our relationship years ago, but until recently it had been primarily physical (friends with benefits, etc.). About a year ago, I began to see my girlfriend, the first connection in our open relationship that was not only a good physical one but turned emotional and serious in a way that neither of our prior open relationship experiences had. » Read more
Your article today about perspecticide was a total game changer. I had no idea what dependent personality disorder was and suddenly all of my struggles make sense. (I also was involved in a perspecticide relationship for 4 years in my early 20s). I’ve been in therapy for 2 years. » Read more
Have you written anything about how to set boundaries without hurting people? I struggle with worrying that I’m going to hurt people when I set boundaries, so I keep it to myself until it starts to hurt *me.*
I want to start off this article by being very clear about one thing: No matter what you do, » Read more
I really liked your article “I Wish I Didn’t Feel Like Having Deep Conversations Right Before Bed.” It was relevant to me because I’ve been in both positions. I’ve been the person wanting to talk about something heavy at the wrong time and also the person who just wants to get to sleep already and is annoyed. » Read more