“You write an awful lot about other people, how kind they are to you, and how much you appreciate them. I find myself thinking that I hope you are as kind to them back. I hope you make an effort, too. And I wish you’d write more about what kind of partner you are, because I don’t like wondering about it.” » Read more
Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more
About a year and a half ago, I found myself in a poly relationship. I didn’t get into it under the best circumstances, though.
I had found out that my husband had been exploiting me for a decade and he was really turned on by the idea of me sleeping around, » Read more
Can you learn to be polyamorous? the reader asks.
Yes, you can.
Well, sort of.
Because so much of the work I did in my early days as a polyamorous person wasn’t about learning polyamory but about unlearning what I’d been taught about relationships. » Read more
I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more
Advice Friend: My Partner Is Sharing Posts from a Polyamory Page, Should I Be Concerned I’m Being Cheated On?
The person I’ve been dating for 3-1/2 years has recently been reposting your stuff from Facebook.
Should I bring it up and directly ask if he is polyamorous? And if I didn’t know this about him, would that be considered cheating since it wasn’t “knowledge or consent of BOTH parties,” » Read more
I’ve gotten asked enough times how I started out blogging for a wide audience. I wish I had a better origin story. That I’d gotten bitten by something radioactive. Or that someone swooped down from the sky and knighted me or something.
But it isn’t that colorful.
In all honesty, I was the advice friend. » Read more
I was confronted regarding my polyamory. I was told that it’s nothing more than lack of healthy coping mechanisms involving a deeply abusive childhood & total lack of boundaries. Being told that polyamory is a trauma side effect hurts. Trying to process. Thoughts?
I’m sorry to hear that someone said that to you. » Read more
I’m not usually the type of person who writes in to an advice column, but I’m in a bind. I don’t know who else to turn to. I don’t want anyone in my life to know what I’ve been up to.
My partner has a habit of leaving their phone lying unguarded around the house when they’re going out jogging or taking a shower. » Read more
I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.
I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing. » Read more