How to Deal With It When One Partner Wants to Have Deep Conversations Before Bed & the Other Really Doesn’t

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Hi Page, 

I really liked your article “I Wish I Didn’t Feel Like Having Deep Conversations Right Before Bed.” It was relevant to me because I’ve been in both positions. I’ve been the person wanting to talk about something heavy at the wrong time and also the person who just wants to get to sleep already and is annoyed.  » Read more

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If You’re Asking Yourself If You’re Being a Doormat, Then the Answer Is Yes

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The other day I got a question from a reader in response to my essay on the importance of being around gracious people. This is true all of the time, really, but particularly when you’re in a polyamorous relationship system.

They asked me a question that might seem obvious but hit me rather funny.  » Read more

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I’ve Had My Own Advice Used Against Me… and That’s a Good Thing

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“Are you sure about that?” my partner says. “Because I think you’re biased here.”

“Well,” I say in response, my voice dripping with equal parts defensiveness and smugness, “I may be biased. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

“You know,” my partner says, “that reminds me of something a relationship writer once wrote.”  » Read more

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Advice Friend: Polyamorous Couples Where One Partner Is Ace

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My partner and I are happily married, and have been doing some relationship introspection. Have you ever come across or heard about a successful married relationship where one partner is polyamorous while the other is on the Ace spectrum?

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A few quick clarifications for readers who might want/need them before I answer today’s question:

Ace/ace = shorthand for asexual

allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum and/or not asexual

Personal disclosure: I am allosexual,  » Read more

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I Can’t Tell You What Kind of Partner I Am, and That’s Okay

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“You write an awful lot about other people, how kind they are to you, and how much you appreciate them. I find myself thinking that I hope you are as kind to them back. I hope you make an effort, too. And I wish you’d write more about what kind of partner you are, because I don’t like wondering about it.”  » Read more

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What Is Functional Monogamy?

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Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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