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Ah, the bucket list. You know… all the things that you would like to do before you die. Why do they call it that? I didn’t know at first but did some digging, and apparently it literally comes from the idea that it’s all the things you want to do before you “kick the bucket.” Yes, really. Wow. Okay.
“If it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t love,” she tells me. And she sounds so sure of herself as she says it. But I don’t agree.
They say that time heals all wounds, but that always sounds like a load of hooey to me. Time heals all wounds? Yeah, right. Then why is time the thing that gets everyone in the end?
I’ve been through some dark times in my life. Thankfully, most of them were past. But some of them happened at a time when I was impressionable, vulnerable, malleable. And because of that, the person I am today is forever linked with those difficult times — one way or another. My personality grew around the tough times.
I’m like a cat — occasionally clingy, but only once I’ve gotten to know you.
In my opinion, there are countless healthy ways to operate in the world. And this is one of them.
Once upon a time, I had a truly magical outlook regarding emotions. I thought that if I only cared enough about situations that it would affect the other person. Move them somehow. Even if they were selfish, cold, only concerned with their own self and their needs, if I cared enough, I could soften another person’s heart.
I’m learning to hold on to my mistakes in a different way — not to shame myself but to appreciate my imperfections.
My doormat friend has been working on assertiveness. Some of us are extremely proud of her and cheering her on as she pursues more healthy patterns in her interpersonal relationships. But other people who know her are really unhappy.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to that former version of myself — the one who was scared, who thought this relationship was “too good to be true,” who convinced herself that it’d all end at any time. I wish I could go back and tell her, “You’re never going to wish you enjoyed this less.”
“I want you to show me how you really feel,” you say. “How can I help you if you don’t?”
And I want to go there. I do. But I’m not entirely convinced I won’t drive you away if I do.
was a relief when I got together with my husband that he didn’t find me exhausting. Because my ex certainly did. He said it often. He didn’t say that I had a ton of energy or that I was always working on learning something — the way that I’d come later to view these tendencies of mine.
No, he said that I was exhausting.
Whenever I play video games, I tend to hold on to my items until the brink of disaster. It doesn’t matter how many potions they give me; I’m always convinced I’ll need them more later on.
I dunno why it’s so hard to get super lovey-dovey with myself. To tell myself kind, mood-boosting things about who I am. But it is.
I learned that I don’t have to perform for people for them to like me. Frankly, some days I still forget. But I’m trying to do that less.
I told you I wasn’t perfect. You seemed like you understood me at the time. Acted like I was saying something obvious.
I probably should have taken it as more of a bad sign — that our rhythms were so different. You were frenetic. It came off
I have heard it so many times: “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” And that used to make me smile. But these
It’s the weekend. Early morning. My partner has had a long five-day stretch of getting up early and staying up late for his multiple jobs. He has to work late morning today too. (And so do I.)
But if he plays his cards right, he can sleep in an hour or two longer than usual. And he really needs it.
I know this is a polyamory blog, and you would think that headline isn’t a revolutionary idea. Or even remotely controversial. But I’m here to tell you that it’s weirdly controversial.
“Why did you put yourself out there?” I say to myself. It’s one of my harsh tones. My scolding voice. It swears without swearing. Implies insulting putdowns without actually articulating them — which is more insulting on a certain level, because it forces me to mentally imagine what I’m not saying.
When it comes to taking on new obligations, I plan for the rainy days, not sunny ones.