Good Things Are Worth Waiting For & Hard to Screw Up
November 17, 2021
Some of the best relationships I’ve had ever had — whether they were romantic, friendship, or some mix of both — were very similar to cold-brewing tea.
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If You Can’t Take It Back, Crowd It Out
November 16, 2021
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean it. I wish I could take it back.”
“Did You Violate Your Own Values?”
November 15, 2021
Sometimes in spite of our best efforts, we find ourselves in conflict with other people. And sometimes in spite of our best efforts, emotional tensions rise, tempers flare, and things go off the rails.
I’m Kind to Everyone… Except Bullies
November 14, 2021
It comes as quite a surprise to everyone who gets to know me, the first time they see me take down a bully.
Don’t Date Anyone Who Treats You Worse Than a Friend
November 13, 2021
Don’t date anyone who treats you worse than a friend.
I’m in the Middle of My Very First NaNoWriMo
November 12, 2021
I’m doing NaNoWriMo for the very first time. Have you done it? How did it go?
“How DARE You Leave Me After I Treated You Like Trash”
November 11, 2021
“I guess what gets me is that he lost his temper, chewed everyone out, didn’t apologize, pretended it never happened… and then was surprised when everyone soured on him.”
I Let AI Take Over My Blog Temporarily Because Algorithms Were Bullying Me
November 10, 2021
“Let’s do an experiment,” Justin said.
What if Trash Talking an Ex Is Part of Not Looking Back?
November 9, 2021
“What if trash talking an ex is part of not looking back?” she says. “What if it’s making some closure? Some distance. What if it’s training yourself to care less — and so not be tempted to end up in the same patterns?”
“Is It Okay to Give Advice When Someone Is About to Cry?”
November 8, 2021
A reader asks: ” Is it okay to give advice or try to solve someone’s problem when they’re about to cry? Or is that a no-no?”
Productivity Dysmorphia, or Why You’ll Never Feel Like You Do Enough
November 7, 2021
What is productivity dysmorphia anyway? It’s an unhealthy relationship with your sense of productivity. When you achieve things, you may suffer from a nagging inner voice that says, “So what? What’s the big deal?” Yes, you may experience this even as other people congratulate you for your achievements.
You’re Not Going to Be Liked By Everyone… Learning to Be Liked “Enough”
November 6, 2021
The trouble wasn’t that I wanted to be liked. The trouble was that I wasn’t specific. I wanted everyone to like me, you see. And the flaw in my logic never occurred to me. Why would I want everyone to like me? I didn’t even like everyone.
Thank You For Being So Consistent
November 5, 2021
It’s not the love story that the movies sell us, but there really is something fantastic about being consistent — and I’ve found that my favorite people not only appreciate that quality in me but are consistent in return.
Being Forced to Pick One Way of Interacting with People and Stick to It, Instead of Switching All the Time
November 4, 2021
It’s been something like 12 years now, but I still remember when I first got on Facebook.
I Don’t Want to Never Age; I Want to Age Well.
November 3, 2021
I am happy that I’m growing older. I don’t want to never age; I want to age well.
When the Right Move Isn’t Exactly the “Healthy” One
November 2, 2021
“It seems weird to other people, but it feels like the right move.”
Why I Bet You Don’t Think You Can Do It
November 1, 2021
I know you don’t think you can do it. But you can do it. I can see you can do it.
“I Feel This Way, There Must Be a Reason For It”
October 31, 2021
Misattribution of arousal is a term for a phenomenon that was first noted in classic psychological studies whereby participants would feel stimulation by one cause and wrongly attribute it to something else.
3 Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s About to Cry
October 29, 2021
Sometimes crying can’t be helped. And unfortunately the things that people say when they see you’re about to cry can make the situation even worse. Here are a few common ones.
Your Toxic Ex’s Self-Deception
October 28, 2021
I know it’s hard to watch the way your toxic ex has rewritten history. The distorted way they talk about the time you spent together — and what it all means now that it’s over.
Those Days When You Play Self-Disrespect Chicken
October 27, 2021
I feel like I’m getting close to oblivion again. Like I’m playing self-disrespect chicken. And yet… I can’t step back. The best I can do is hold still and wait.
How Are You Supposed to Get Over Things If Time Just Won’t Move?
October 26, 2021
It’s been a weird couple of years. For me personally. But as I type those words, I’m painfully aware of how that statement resonates with practically everyone: “It’s been a weird couple of years.”
Thank You for Being There, Even If You Don’t Understand
October 25, 2021
I’m glad you don’t understand the kind of pain I’m struggling with. But I’m tired of explaining it to you.
Is It Always Good That Something Is Relatable?
October 24, 2021
While it feels good when something is relatable, is it always good? Or are there times when memes simply give us the permission not to do the work to change and grow?
When Things Change, It’s Sometimes Hard to Sense the Direction
October 23, 2021
Looking at photographs taken at twilight, I can never tell if it’s sunrise or sunset. Not sure if this is just me.
I Can Relax Just Fine, But Not Around Predators
October 22, 2021
It was a point of contention in a former relationship. “Don’t you ever relax? You’re so keyed up.”
It’s Time That You Gave Yourself a Chance
October 21, 2021
“It’s time that you gave yourself a chance. We all trust you so much. You should trust yourself too. We want that for you.”
I’m Staring Down a Slippery Slope & Feeling Vertigo
October 20, 2021
“You know how you always want more for the people you love?” he says. “We want that for you, too.”
I sigh. I can piece together what he’s saying, connect the dots, and understand how it makes logical sense. But it’s so hard for me to feel it.
Sometimes Love Can Look Like (Temporarily) Lowered Expectations
October 19, 2021
Maybe temporarily lowered expectations is a form of self-love I can actually get behind. Not the self-aggrandizing kind of self-love where I think I’m all that and a bag of chips or can do no wrong. But one where I can extend a little grace to myself when I’m struggling, allow myself a slower day without guilt. A self-love where I can trust myself to catch up later on the slack I’ve cut myself.
My Most Annoying Roommate Isn’t Technically Alive
October 18, 2021
But I’d have to say that my most annoying roommate at the moment isn’t technically alive. Oh, sure… it moves. It makes messes. Gets in my way. Raises a racket. Causes no end of drama in my home. All while trying to be helpful.
I’ve Always Done Best With a Mixture of Familiar and Novel
October 17, 2021
As long-time readers of the blog might know, I play a fair amount of video games. I have for most of my life. But I’m not very good at most of them.
