
“How Are You Doing?” Hits Differently When You’re Grieving
“How are you doing?” hits differently when you’re grieving.
“How are you doing?” hits differently when you’re grieving.
The reality is that burnout can take an awfully long time to recover from.
I’ve seen amazing relationship systems, where people were happy, things were harmonious — and everyone in them suffered mostly from a kind of “pinch me” syndrome.
I get a little dizzy thinking about it sometimes. And proud of us. For the flexibility, for being kind during those dances even if we sometimes stepped on each other’s toes.
You have no idea how wonderful you are. How much you help. You gave me the world and said it was no big deal.
Being successful at polyamory really is about choosing the hard thing that helps you grow.
I’ll keep telling people I care about them, even if it sometimes results in a broken heart.
We should be grateful for those moments when someone finally tells us the “obvious.” Whether it’s complimentary or not.
I was a strange little goblin growing up, and the adults were pessimistic about me from early on.
I’m grateful for all the past heartbreaks that taught me to appreciate this. And all my partner’s heartbreaks that taught them to appreciate me.
Isolation made me forget who I was, and it made me think people hate me.
“This is the way you’ll jump to the front of the line,” he said. And he spelled out a list of wants and needs — and wants disguised as needs.
My favorite thing about sharing is that when everyone takes turns doing it, life is truly wonderful.
Most of what I find when I do the active online dating thing is transactional behavior and really boring conversations.
I’ve been holding on to something for a long time. A very long time.
I’m super happy these days. And a big part of that is who I don’t have around me.
We must check in on these other emotions that are quieter and more easily forgotten. It’s very much like creating space for a quiet friend to participate in a conversation when they’re trying to talk but no one is listening to them.
“It’s wild,” I say. “They love commitment, that’s the funny thing. But only when it means other people are beholden to them. It’s like they want a contract but one that’s only binding on your side.”
I’m tired of big moments. Unprecedented this or that. There’s a reason that “may you live in interesting times” is considered a curse and not a blessing.
I’ve had a really hard time the past couple of years, thinking that people don’t like me. Seriously, it’s been a very marked uptick the past few years.
The worst feeling is when you realize that the thing other people have been telling you for years, the thing you dismissed out of hand, didn’t want to be true, didn’t think could possibly be true… is true.
No one wants to go first, but someone has to.
He storms out. It’s the worst thing I could have said. I’ll think about that a lot later — how sometimes the truth is the worst possible thing you can say. And how if the truth is the worst possible thing you can say, that’s a sign that it needs to end.
I’m forever amazed by how we never know how bad something is until it’s over. Not until the worst of it has passed and we’re safe do we feel the pain of the experiences we’re merely surviving.
I don’t know what to make of any of it. I want to appreciate it, but I don’t want to be entitled to it.
The sneaky thing about burnout is that fun things can lead to it. Not just work-work.
There’s no getting around it. One of the most sabotaging things you can do is not set boundaries with other people. It can be extremely damaging to your life and happiness if you regularly say yes to other people when you really want to say no.
I’ve been sitting here, the morning after an amazing date, trying to figure out why it hit me so hard. Why it was one for the books.
“I know keeping score is toxic for relationships. Those cycles can be so damaging and destructive to emotional connection. I get that. I don’t want to be a bean counter. I really don’t. It’s just behavior feels like the fast track to getting taken advantage of.”
In mindfulness work, they talk a lot about how emotions are visitors. They come and they go. And no matter how intense the feeling is, it eventually lifts.
I love doing my own thing and having my sweet little life to savor.
I have a giant soft spot for anyone who can honor both the size of the challenge and the scope of my strength.
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