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We’ve been close for a very long time. First we were friends — wonderful friends. We were mutual confidants, always talking about what was going
What must it be like — I often wonder — to sweep by in one of your moods and lash out in every direction with very little forethought in the moment? Terrible, I imagine. Like you’re out of control. Because you are out of control in those moments.
I don’t make the decision to leave a situation lightly — but once I make up my mind to do it, my mind stays made.
I definitely struggle with feeling like people don’t actually like me and are pretending.
Yes, really. Yes, even my friends.
For a long time, our future was flexible, unlimited. I wasn’t sure who you’d be to me or who I’d be to you. Not ultimately. I knew I loved you with all I had
You shouldn’t compare yourself to other people… but you probably will.
Make no mistake. I’m not always positive. But I’m definitely a lot more positive than I used to be. And it’s been lifechanging. So much better.
Early experiences can set us up to think that our health doesn’t matter. That no one will care or believe us.
My relationship with myself improved. Ours fell to pieces. And when it happened, it felt like the end of the world. But something else happened… when my life emptied out, other things flowed in. I had room for people who were supportive and kind.
Having had a number of clearly malicious actors do hurtful things and then feebly insist after the fact that they didn’t mean to hurt me, I get it. It’s no good when folks weasel out of dubious acts after the fact, using intent as a cover. But I have to say I’ve found other circumstances where intent is crucial.
Today’s article is a guest post by frequent Poly.Land contributor Fluffy about what they’ve learned from two of the worst years of their life.
You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. -Pearl S. Buck
Some weeks you get a refresher course in gratitude. This past one was last like that for me.
There is something extremely powerful in having real-time simultaneous deep connections.
There’s no way of getting around it. When a bunch of bad things happen, it’s easy to think you deserved it.
Loss aversion is an interesting phenomenon. Generally speaking, loss aversion is the phenomenon whereby human beings experience greater negative emotions when they lose something than they get a positive emotional boost from gaining the same thing.
Over the years, I’ve grown to appreciate that the unreliable narrator is not just a literary device… it’s also a fact of life.
The outer result looks the same whether I’m self-abusing bruteforcing or gentle self-parenting. But it feels completely different inside my head. It makes all the difference.
“Umm…,” a reader writes. “I read your article from August 5, and I’m super confused. Are you saying that everyone has to be polyamorous?”
I recently went over 439 unfinished drafts from the past 4-5 years and finished or deleted them. How many did I keep? How many did I delete?
Living alone is hard… but so is living with other people. Pick your hard, the universe says.
I can’t expect everyone I date to be into absolutely everything I’m into. But what I can expect is this: That they respond respectfully even if it’s not their kink.