
The Newest Book in a Polyamorous Urban Fantasy Series Is Out!
Hey folks, This is just a quick post to let you know that The Ecumenopolis, the fourth book in the Psychic State series is out!
Hey folks, This is just a quick post to let you know that The Ecumenopolis, the fourth book in the Psychic State series is out!
I never planned for this spring and summer to be so difficult. But does anyone ever? It isn’t as though people pencil in traumas on their calendars or dutifully schedule major losses.
The less time you spend on relationships that shouldn’t happen, the more time you have to discover and explore the ones that should.
Some people need you sick to find you useful and want you around.
There was a difference between not being upset and wanting to not be upset. And I had been conflating the two.
Aw heck.
Sometimes it seems like it’d be better to go on autopilot. Easier certainly. And a heck of a lot less lonely than questioning the status quo or forcing myself out of my comfort zone.
Figuring out what romantic relationships and close friendships I want to have has also involved figuring out what aspects of myself I want to feel better about and which ones I want to work on.
My mother said once that I have a hard time getting over things because I have a good memory. “If you could only just forget, you’d feel better. Forgetting helps us let go of the pain.”
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
-Sam Keen
It’s tough to stay in the moment and yet plan for the future.
The biggest gift we can give someone who is suffering is just holding space and being there for them.
All week I’ve looked forward to this, and now it’s cancelled. It’s such a small thing, but I’m far more disappointed than I want to be.
“How are you doing?” hits differently when you’re grieving.
The reality is that burnout can take an awfully long time to recover from.
I’ve seen amazing relationship systems, where people were happy, things were harmonious — and everyone in them suffered mostly from a kind of “pinch me” syndrome.
I get a little dizzy thinking about it sometimes. And proud of us. For the flexibility, for being kind during those dances even if we sometimes stepped on each other’s toes.
You have no idea how wonderful you are. How much you help. You gave me the world and said it was no big deal.
Being successful at polyamory really is about choosing the hard thing that helps you grow.
I’ll keep telling people I care about them, even if it sometimes results in a broken heart.
We should be grateful for those moments when someone finally tells us the “obvious.” Whether it’s complimentary or not.
I was a strange little goblin growing up, and the adults were pessimistic about me from early on.
I’m grateful for all the past heartbreaks that taught me to appreciate this. And all my partner’s heartbreaks that taught them to appreciate me.
Isolation made me forget who I was, and it made me think people hate me.
“This is the way you’ll jump to the front of the line,” he said. And he spelled out a list of wants and needs — and wants disguised as needs.
My favorite thing about sharing is that when everyone takes turns doing it, life is truly wonderful.
Most of what I find when I do the active online dating thing is transactional behavior and really boring conversations.
I’ve been holding on to something for a long time. A very long time.
I’m super happy these days. And a big part of that is who I don’t have around me.
We must check in on these other emotions that are quieter and more easily forgotten. It’s very much like creating space for a quiet friend to participate in a conversation when they’re trying to talk but no one is listening to them.
“It’s wild,” I say. “They love commitment, that’s the funny thing. But only when it means other people are beholden to them. It’s like they want a contract but one that’s only binding on your side.”
I’m tired of big moments. Unprecedented this or that. There’s a reason that “may you live in interesting times” is considered a curse and not a blessing.
I’ve had a really hard time the past couple of years, thinking that people don’t like me. Seriously, it’s been a very marked uptick the past few years.
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