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The less time you spend on relationships that shouldn’t happen, the more time you have to discover and explore the ones that should.
There was a difference between not being upset and wanting to not be upset. And I had been conflating the two.
Figuring out what romantic relationships and close friendships I want to have has also involved figuring out what aspects of myself I want to feel better about and which ones I want to work on.
It’s tough to stay in the moment and yet plan for the future.
All week I’ve looked forward to this, and now it’s cancelled. It’s such a small thing, but I’m far more disappointed than I want to be.
“How are you doing?” hits differently when you’re grieving.
The reality is that burnout can take an awfully long time to recover from.
I’ve seen amazing relationship systems, where people were happy, things were harmonious — and everyone in them suffered mostly from a kind of “pinch me” syndrome.
I get a little dizzy thinking about it sometimes. And proud of us. For the flexibility, for being kind during those dances even if we sometimes stepped on each other’s toes.
Being successful at polyamory really is about choosing the hard thing that helps you grow.
We should be grateful for those moments when someone finally tells us the “obvious.” Whether it’s complimentary or not.
I was a strange little goblin growing up, and the adults were pessimistic about me from early on.
I’m grateful for all the past heartbreaks that taught me to appreciate this. And all my partner’s heartbreaks that taught them to appreciate me.
“This is the way you’ll jump to the front of the line,” he said. And he spelled out a list of wants and needs — and wants disguised as needs.
I’ve been holding on to something for a long time. A very long time.
We must check in on these other emotions that are quieter and more easily forgotten. It’s very much like creating space for a quiet friend to participate in a conversation when they’re trying to talk but no one is listening to them.
“It’s wild,” I say. “They love commitment, that’s the funny thing. But only when it means other people are beholden to them. It’s like they want a contract but one that’s only binding on your side.”
I’m tired of big moments. Unprecedented this or that. There’s a reason that “may you live in interesting times” is considered a curse and not a blessing.
I’ve had a really hard time the past couple of years, thinking that people don’t like me. Seriously, it’s been a very marked uptick the past few years.
The worst feeling is when you realize that the thing other people have been telling you for years, the thing you dismissed out of hand, didn’t want to be true, didn’t think could possibly be true… is true.