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PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?

a photograph of a statue of Lot's wife turned to salt. The statue is in front of a reddish building with green trim
Image by Peter Linehan / CC BY

PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?

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In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:

As elsewhere in poly relationships,  » Read more

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“I Just Want to Talk About It to Prove to Myself I Can”

a hand holding a ceramic heart, in front of what appears to be a rocky beach-y background
Image by thechallahblog / CC BY

I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.

Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up.  » Read more

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For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

a closeup of a pair of glasses
Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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Maybe It’s Easier If You’ve Never Really Been Close to Other People

a wool blanket with a plaid pattern on it
Image by Joanna Bourne / CC BY

My first close friendships were blisteringly intense.

I had one childhood friend, Emma, whose parents were both zoologists. Emma’s family let me come along with them on their family vacations. I can remember vividly, even now, lying with Emma under the covers at night in an old farmhouse as the wind made noise in the rafters,  » Read more

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The Very Presence of a Community and Other Voices Can Be Reassuring, Regardless of What They’re Even Saying

a map of various cartoon busts of people connected with a series of dotted lines, like a social network in pictographic form
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)

While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no,  » Read more

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