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What’s an Anchor Partner?
Hi Page,
I love your page and have read all of your books. I had a question. I keep seeing people talking about something called an “anchor partner.” I searched here on the site and found a couple of posts that talk about anchor partners but nothing on what the term meant. » Read more
Boats Without Anchors: On Dating the Non-Committed
“What’s to say that you won’t run off to Vegas with the first woman you meet who has potential to be a primary?” I say.
CC smiles. “Vegas is tacky, and I avoid that place.”
I nod. “Musty carpets, that’s what I remember about Vegas.”
“I’m very in the moment right now,” » Read more
Anchor Parenting and the Committed Poly Family
“Have you written much about anchor partners?” he asks me.
“Yeah, a few times,” I answer, thinking of this (on dating someone you’ve been with a while) and this (7 ways to make an old relationship feel new).
We’re commiserating on how little room there is in our lives for anything new and serious. » Read more
Loving Someone You’re With: Date Night with the Anchor
Going on a date with an anchor partner? Well, it’s quite a different matter than cavorting with the new shiny.
It lacks that nervousness, that glint of uncertainty. The frisson of oh my god, what is this? What is this right now? What will it become?
When you’re dating some new, » Read more
Why I Like Old Relationship Energy More Than New Relationship Energy
I can still remember what my ex-husband said when we’d been dating each for a few months.
“I’m sad that the chase is over.”
I laughed at the time when he said it. Which he wasn’t fond of, because he was being serious (and he often interpreted laughter as hostile).
He went on to explain that his favorite parts of his past relationships had been in the courtship phase. » Read more
When You Find Someone You Love Sticking Up For
I remember the first time I ever stuck up for you for a simple reason: Because it was easy. It was the right thing to do.
But at the time, you were really surprised that I’d do that for you. You told me you weren’t used to other people sticking up for you. » Read more
You’re Likely to Weight Your Introduction to Something Far More Than You Should
It can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.
It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator, it’s more important that you react quickly. » Read more
Help! I Need a Better Way to Refer to the People in My Love Life
Dear Page,
I am pretty new to poly. I’ve only started exploring it in the last six months or so. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog, and found your advice very helpful when navigating some of the trickier points of managing multiple relationships. Thank you for that! Lately I’ve been encountering a new problem, » Read more
“You Don’t Act Married. You Like Each Other Too Much.”
“You guys aren’t married, are you?” our cab driver asks us.
“Actually we are,” I say.
“Newlyweds?” he asks.
“We’ve been together eight years,” I answer.
“Wow,” he says. “You don’t act married.”
“What do you mean?”
Our car driver tells us that we seem to get along too well, » Read more
The Rest of Your Life Needs You, Not Just Your Controversy
Why do you waste so much time writing about things that aren’t controversial?
I stared at the question on my screen. It had come from a reader. An excerpt, actually. The rest of the message went downhill from there. And ended by calling me a name.
I resolved to ignore it. » Read more
