“Hey Page,” she says. “I really loved your articles on demisexuality and reciprosexuality. I think it’s really great what you’re doing, using your platform to showcase some underrepresented identities.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I like writing about how other people do things. How they work. What makes them tick. Rather than my website being the Me Show all the damn time.”
“I kind of wish you’d write something about my situation,” she says.
“What’s your situation?”
“I’m megasexual,” she says.
“Megasexual?” I say. “Not familiar with that term. What’s it mean?”
“Guess,” she says. “Without looking it up.”
I think for a moment. “It sounds like attraction to really tall people? Maybe what you’d call someone with a giant fetish. Although I suspect that isn’t true. Since you usually just say that someone has a giant fetish. Or that they have macrophilia.”
She laughs. “Nah, none of that. No giant fetish. Probably the easiest way to think of megasexuality is to consider it the opposite of demisexuality.”
Where demisexuals typically don’t feel sexual attraction until after a strong emotional connection has been established, she tells me that as a megasexual she doesn’t fall in love with someone unless there’s a strong sexual connection in place.
“I also tend to know instantly upon meeting someone whether or not I’m sexually attracted to them. I’ve never been able to do the whole ‘let’s be friends first’ thing. That scenario where a relationship starts out as a platonic friendship and then evolves into a romantic and/or sexual relationship just isn’t how I work. It isn’t possible for me. I know right away.”
“Huh,” I say. “Do you find that once you have that sexual and emotional connection in place that you need sex to maintain that bond?”
She nods. “Definitely. Sex is inextricably linked with love for me. A dead bedroom will kill a relationship for me. Even one that’s otherwise doing well.”
She adds that she recognizes that not every megasexual is going to have everything she’s told me in common with her. That labels are used in a variety of ways. But that these are the broad strokes of what megasexuality means to her.
My new book is out!
Dealing with Difficult Metamours, the first book devoted solely to metamour relationships, full of strategies to help you get along better with your partners’ other partner(s).