When I was brand new to polyamory, I read everything I could possibly get my hands on. I gobbled up every guidebook I could find on the subject. And when I was done reading those, I hit the Internet.
There wasn’t nearly as much out there in those days as there is now, but I was able to find a few websites. And while I did find how-to articles, I craved something else even more: Blog posts.
I couldn’t read enough from poly bloggers. The day-to-day struggles of people out there living as polyamorous people. I voraciously read accounts of their daily lives, looking for how they managed the complex social situations they found themselves in. Situations without a lot of cultural models to serve as a reference.
I found that the blog posts were a great deal more accurate than the how-to. How-to and advice were largely based in how the author felt people should tackle situations. The ideal for behavior.
It’s not a terribly comfortable notion for most to accept, but people don’t always behave ideally. They’re imperfect. Especially when things get emotional.
What I wanted, more than anything, was to see how real people — imperfect people — behaved. And to combine that actual behavior with the ideal models from the how-to resources and learn from that combination.
And as I searched the Internet, I did find a number of polyamorous bloggers who did a good job honestly representing their experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and reflecting on that in a way that resonated with me. I quickly developed favorites. Writers that I followed closely.
There was only one problem: Their updates were few and far between. Often weeks, if not months, would pass between entries.
So when I set out to blog more openly about my experiences as a polyamorous person, I asked myself how often I could manage to update, realistically speaking. Frequency seemed key. I can still remember days when I was struggling with issues and could have really used new blog posts from my favorites to look forward to.
I decided then that I could write a new blog post every day. And I made a commitment to post every day no matter what. That was September 1, 2016, and I’m happy to say that I’ve kept that promise so far.
Will I always be able to manage it? Who knows. But I’m doing my best to essentially serve as the polyamorous blogger that I could have used when I was new to it all.