It started over a year ago with a letter from a reader:
_Do you have any advice for couples who are about to open up their relationships? _
_My partner and I are new to poly. We don’t know where to begin. We’d like to find someone to date together. We’ve talked to a bunch of people online, but they called us unicorn hunters. I looked this up, and it’s apparently an insult. Means that we’re unethical and selfish. _
_I don’t feel like we are, but maybe there’s something there? If I’m doing things the wrong way, I’d like to do better. _
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I sent them links to some articles I’d written. Gave them book recommendations for some basic polyamory primers. And wrote them a new article – “ Unicorn Ranchers: Don’t Hunt, Create a Sanctuary.”
After it came out, they wrote back to me with the piece’s final line:
If you’re looking for a unicorn, as many are, don’t be the hunting kind. Be the spoiling kind. Be unicorn ranchers.
_ _And a single word: How?
P.S., they wrote, _I’ve read those books you recommended already. They didn’t help. But you write in a way that does. _
A Quickstart Guide to Polyamory #
If it had just been this one person, it surely would have ended then. But I kept getting messages about these same issues. They were my most frequently asked questions.
I started to see that there was a need for a quickstart guide to polyamory. Something that was an entertaining read, full of substantive information but easy to get through. A quick, concise read. Because a book that doesn’t get read helps no one.
Something funny, non-judgemental, based in research.
This book needed to exist. And I was just the nerd to make it happen.
So I went to work.
Couples Tested, Relationship Anarchist Approved #
I’m happy to say it’s done.
The beta read included some folks who were coupled and new to polyamory. They loved the book, which was great to hear.
But I knew I was really on to something when another one of the book’s beta readers let me know that he planned on buying two copies:
- One for himself. Even though he wasn’t new to poly or coupled and more of a relationship anarchist than anything else, he still loved the book–especially the section on jealousy and insecurity.
- One as a gift for his friends who had been trying to pick up a girl together on Tinder. “I think this will actually be helpful to them in a way that other stuff hasn’t,” he said.
A Geek’s Guide to Unicorn Ranching #
A Geek’s Guide to Unicorn Ranching covers:
- The steps you should take before opening up your relationship to make sure you’re on the same page
- How to set a relationship agreement (including examples of actual relationship agreements)
- The different kinds of polyamorous relationship structures and systems
- Common pitfalls newly poly couples face and how to avoid them
- The high-success method for dating poly people
- Effective ways to manage jealousy and insecurity
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You can purchase the book from the links below. Want to help out? Leave a review after you’ve read the book. Thank you all!