I’ve known more than a couple folks in my day who prided themselves on being supremely rational, in control, unemotional. They were stoics. They thought they were tough.
All went well until they hit a snag, encountered a conflict. And then it became painfully obvious that they were full of it.
This is because avoiding emotions can cause them to come out sideways later.
This is not to say that you should act reflexively on your emotions – that also is problematic. But you need to at least acknowledge them privately to yourself, accept that you’re feeling what you’re feeling. It doesn’t make you weak. You can’t actually control your emotional reactions (and by extension your life) until you claim the emotions as yours. Denial is not control. It’s not power. It’s just running away.
And then you’re lashing out at small things, convinced you’re in the right because after all, you’re that supremely rational, reasonable creature, aren’t you? You’re not governed by such a petty thing as emotions.
Except you’re running like hell, on the lam from the angry mob storming after you.
It’s a funny thing. These days, I can spot it from a mile away… I used to blame myself, think I was doing something wrong when I was interacting with someone who behaved in this pattern. Nowadays though, I find myself thinking, “I wonder what they’re on the run from.”
The way they’re dancing, there has to be a heck of a din going on in their head.